Listening
to our Dogs
Sirach
3:17-18, 20, 28-29 Heb. 12:18-19, 22-24 Luke 14:1, 7-11
To the church in the diaspora[1]
& to the church of the unchurched[2]
Alleluia, alleluia.
A reading from the holy Gospel according to Luke.
Glory to you, Lord.
On a Sabbath,Jesus went to dine at the home of one of the leading
Pharisees, and the people there were observing him carefully.
When he noticed how some of the guests were trying to get a place at the head
table, he told them a parable. “When you are invited by someone to a wedding
banquet, do not take the place of honor. A more distinguished guest than you might
be invited, and the host might have to approach you and say, ‘Give your place
to this man.’ Then with embarrassment you will have to take some less important
place. Rather, when you are invited, go
and seek the least important place so that when the host comes to you he might
say, ‘My friend, move up to this nicer place.’ Then you will enjoy the esteem
of the other guests at the banquet.” Jesus ends the parable with the
expression, “For everyone who exalts
himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted” (Lk
14:1, 7-11).
Introduction
A favorite expression
That seems to be a favorite expression of Jesus. He
ends another parable with the identically same words. Two men went up to the
temple to pray one day. One was a Pharisee (a stickler on religion). The other
was a tax collector (always mentioned in the same breath with sinners). The
Pharisee thanked God he wasn’t greedy, dishonest and immoral, like the rest of
men. The tax collector struck his breast
and asked God to be merciful to him, a greedy, dishonest and immoral sinner.
When the sun set that day, the tax collector, Jesus said, not the Pharisee went
home that night set right with God. “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the
one who humbles himself will be exalted” (Lk 18:9-:14).
Matthew records a third time Jesus used the expression. Speaking to the crowds one
day he typifies the teachers of the Law and the Pharisees as ostentatious
people. “They do everything just to be seen by others. They enlarge their phylacteries and lengthen
the tassels on their pray shawls. They love to sit at the head table at
banquets and in the reserved pews in the synagogue. They love being shown deference
in the marketplace and being greeted as `Rabbi.’” He ends his uncomplimentary description
of them saying, “Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who
humbles himself will be exalted” (Mt 23:5-7, 12).
I’m not OK
Years ago Thomas Harris, a psychiatrist, wrote a
best seller entitled I’m OK; You’re OK.
The book was about good self-esteem (I’m OK) and poor self-esteem (I’m not
OK). The book was about feeling good
about one’s self and about not feeling good about one’s self.
On second reading, today’s parable is really about poor
self-esteem. When you don’t feel very good about yourself, you have a need to
sit in a place of honor at a banquet. When, however, you have good self-esteem
then any seat at all at the banquet will be just fine!
Jesus’ other
parables are also about poor self-esteem. When you don’t feel good about
yourself, you have a need to look down on others as greedy, dishonest and
immoral. When, however, you have good
self-esteem, you don’t have to build yourself up by tearing others down. In a recent document (July 10, 2007,) Pope
Benedict revisited a previous document (Aug. 6, 2000) entitled Dominus Iesus, issued by the Congregation for
the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF) and signed by himself when he headed the CDF during John Paul’s papacy. In the recent document
Benedict again declared that Orthodox churches were “defective,” and that other
Christian denominations were not true churches but merely “ecclesial
communities.” When, however, a church feels good about itself, it doesn’t need
to build itself up by tearing others down.
Again, when you don’t feel good about yourself, you
have a need to dress yourself up in showy prayer shawls with lengthy tassels, and
you have a need to wear baggy pants dropping down to your ankles to attract
attention to yourself. When, however, you have good self-esteem, you know
what’s attractive about you lies within you. You can afford to wear
unpretentious clothes and to wear your pants up at your waist where they won’t
attract attention.
Primary and secondary recordings
Good self-esteem is partly a gift bestowed by
birth. Some are born into abundant means
and with great natural gifts. Those are great pluses. Others are wounded by
birth with poor self-esteem because they are born into needs of one kind or the
other. Good self-esteem is also partly a
gift bestowed by others—especially by parents and by friends who in all
different ways tell us that we are OK, and not only just OK but also “worth
more than a whole flock of sparrows” (Lk 12:4-6).
The gift of good self-esteem or the wound of poor
self-esteem is already inflicted at a very early age. Psychiatrists tell us
that by the age of three or four the matter is basically signed, sealed and
delivered for us. By that time a primary recording has been set into play
within us. It basically says over and over (in varying degrees of volume) "I'm
OK” or “I’m not OK.” If the recording is basically saying “I’m OK,” then we’ve
been blessed, and there’s not much more we have to do but simply live life with
a grateful heart.
But if, because of the circumstances of birth and
early life, the recording basically says, “I’m not OK,” then we’ve been wounded,
and we are confronted with a choice. We can either let the negative primary
recording take over our lives, or we can choose to turn down its volume and
turn up the secondary recording in our lives. That’s a recording which plays
the voices of our own internal gifts and goodness which tell us we’re OK.
That’s a recording which plays the voices of people who in various ways tells
us we’re OK, and not only just OK but also worth more than a whole flock of
sparrows. In a word, we can either let
the recording which says we’re not OK take over our lives, or we can choose to
bloom wherever the Great Sower of life has planted us.
We’ll never be able to completely turn off the
primary recording which says we’re not OK. The lifelong task is to turn it down
whenever its volume gets too loud, and we’re tempted to act inappropriately
with self-pity, timidity, hostility or withdrawal. We turn it down by turning
up the secondary recording with its blessed voices, as we choose to bloom
wherever we are.
My primary recording
The older you get, the easier it is to reveal
yourself because you don’t have anything to lose. I’m at that stage in my life. I was born of poor Italian immigrants who
came to this country at the start of the last century. My immigrant parents didn’t
fare very well in a foreign land. Our mother, who couldn’t speak English, was
taken from us at an early age, leaving my sister and me without someone to tell
us we were OK (as only a mother can do it). It left our father without a
helpmate and our house without a soul. That, of course, was bound to wound my
sister and me, and set a primary recording going in our lives, which said, “I’m
not OK.”
The voices of enemies and friends
Periodically the volume on that recording gets
turned up for me, and I have to work at turning it down. It gets turned up when
some lady writes a scathing letter which reads, “We just couldn’t take the
homily anymore. So we left. I really
wanted to get up and shout, `That’s enough. Shut up!’ I actually felt for the
first time in my life that a very malevolent person was actually celebrating
The voices of Jesus and our dog
To the voices of friends who tell us we’re OK, we
add the voice of Jesus. The voices of friends (whom we see) come before the
voice of Jesus (whom we don’t see). They enable us to believe the words of Jesus
who tells us that not a single sparrow (so cheap you can get two of them for a
penny) falls to the ground without our Father knowing it. ”So do not be afraid,”
he tells us, “ you are worth more than a whole flock
of sparrows” (Lk 12:6).
To the voices of friends and Jesus on my secondary
recording there is also the voice of my dog, Simeon. Like Jesus, Simeon knows that
I, his master, am worth more than a whole flock of sparrows, squirrels and
sticks. A friend gave me a little pillow on which was embroidered the words, My goal in life is to be the kind of person my
dog thinks I am.” If you have a
problem with self-esteem, get yourself a dog!
Conclusion
Listening to our dogs
Most of us are afflicted at times with poor
self-esteem. Sometimes it’s miniscule, and sometimes it’s sizeable. It’s poor self-esteem that seeks the place of
honor at a banquet. It’s poor self-esteem that needs to tear others down as greedy,
dishonest and immoral in order to build ourselves up. It’s poor self-esteem
that bedecks ourselves in showy prayer shawls with
lengthy tassels.
When the voice of such disfunctionality is raging
within us, we turn it down by listening to other voices. We listen to our own
gifts and goodness. We listen to our friends and our Lord. And some of us listen to our dogs who were
created by the Lord precisely to let us know what He wants us to powerfully know
-- that we are worth more than a whole flock of sparrows.