SNAKEBITES
Volume 99 Issue 11
Roseville, CA
November 10, 1999
REPORT FROM TEXAS
Seems there's a regional vice president making a tour of his railroad
with
his business car and one locomotive. Headed eastward enroute to
a major
terminal and an overnight stop, he brusquely asks the engineer what
speed he
is operating at. The engineer replies "70MPH".
The regional vice president
turns the air blue with the statement that, "by god, we had
better be
operating at 60MPH". "Why?" asked both the
engineer and general road
foreman. "Because this is a freight train".
"Uh, the engine is geared for
70MPH". "That may be, but it's a freight engine and
that's why we'd better
be operating at 60MPH". Gee, we never had that problem on
SP.
On the same trip a few days later, the same vice president and general
manager is ready to begin another day of his tour and so the head end
gets
permission to operate the electric switch lock and enter main track
for
northward movement. They proceed at restricted speed to the
first automatic
block signal displaying a more favorable aspect and begin to
accelerate. The
regional vice president gets on the radio and asks why the movement is
accelerating. The engineer responds that he's gotten a favorable
aspect at
an intermediate ABS signal. "I don't care", says the
regional vice
president. "I want this movement made at restricted speed
to the next
absolute signal displaying a proceed indication. There might be
CTC failure
and there could be a conflicting movement out here".
Trouble with that logic
is if there was CTC failure, there never would've been permission
granted to
enter the main track.
And this is the guy who is hell on people who slobber past signals
displaying
stop indication. Shows exactly where rules knowledge on the UP
helps a
career. There are lots more where this came from. The San
Antonio Division
is a real barrel of monkeys all working on the same banana.
(Ed. Note:
see story on UP training below.)
More to come
IN THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS
We have and continue to offer supporters of the carrier equal time and
some
space to express their views and opinions relating to the editorial
content
of SNAKEBITES. We would be totally insensitive if we allowed
someone's
feelings to be hurt. However, since your Editor has taken
the reins of this
honorable and raucous publication, we have received no reply worthy of
publication. Our fellow wordsmiths at UPINFO and other
company organs have
failed in their journalistic duties to defend themselves from our
so-called
malicious and justified attacks. So, IN THE INTEREST OF
FAIRNESS, we offer
an entire page of the next issue for the defense of the Union Pacific
Railroad. We will not change your content one bit.
We may edit for space
only. Come on; take a shot!
OUR SPIES ARE STILL EVERYWHERE
The Great Locomotive Chase
Are you aware of the new locomotive lease program? For the next
four years,
UP will take delivery of 1000 new SD-70s on a five year lease.
UP will make
money on this transaction because they will retire 1500
"old"
locomotives and the 650+ that were to be rebuilt. The
money made by selling the older
locomotives (includes our SD-40 fleet) and the money made by not
having to
rebuild 650 locomotives (i.e., lost RR jobs) will pay for the lease
for the
first 3 or 4 years. The last year to 18 months this becomes a
losing
proposition (remember that this enrichment program was only for 48
months
starting Sept. '99) and after the fifth year, when the lease expires,
we can
buy these worn-out locomotives for 96% of the new price. Of
course, if you
do the math, you can see this makes no financial sense, but it does
beef up
profits nicely for the next three years or so. Hope
everyone out there is
60+ years old with three years left to retirement!!
WE GET LETTERS, Part 1
Dear Bites,
I'm really enjoying Snakebites. I always take a couple copies to
our union
meeting. It's a great tension reliever! Keep up the good
work. If nothing
else UP management is great comedy. We have lots of the same
problems in our
small area too. Las Vegas doesn't have a yard, just 3 tracks
running through
town with 2 small switching/storage yards nearby. Our main
problem is dumb
dispatching, mostly from the CAD system which only understands
priority train
symbols and doesn't take into account track ups and downs and the fact
that a
coal empty with good power can outrun (by about twice) the uphill
speed of an
underpowered double stack train. Guess who sits in the pass and
waits for
hours?
Our extra boards are always short and on weekends especially the phone
rings
constantly searching for bodies to work, and after a few hours of that
then
CMS just starts dropping turns, 4 or 5 at a time. My low
seniority friend
just got cut off the X-board. By the HUB agreement he'll be
living in his
car in Salt Lake, while the Salt Lake engineer cut off will be allowed
to use
his conductor's seniority at his home terminal. This doesn't
make any sense
to me. Talk about demoralizing!
Once again, keep bitin' them in the butt, nobody deserves it more.
Janet, the engineer from Las Vegas
GRIEVER'S CORNER
Why union guys turn gray.
As a local chairman, I do not actively encourage sniveling. On
the
telephone, it occurs often enough of its own accord and generally
happens
around dinnertime or just before sex. Sniveling is a great
tool to use
against your enemy, the managers. It really irritates them and
pushes the
blood pressure to the upper end of the scale. Please continue to
snivel in
that direction. We all know that CMS and timekeeping are screwed
up, and to
these we are allowed to apply Whining, a type of sniveling, an art
form
reserved for switchmen and engineers. (Sorry, Conductors, you're
limited to
sniveling only, much like Conductor only. Take the extra pay and
shut up.)
I know there are problems out there and you think your local chairmen
are on
the front lines with all the right phone numbers to call and can fix
anything. I hope nobody still believes that.
Nothing happens without
DOCUMENTATION! I know it's tough, but you have to provide
all the facts to
your griever or he can't help you. And that doesn't mean,
"Hell, man I told
you that dude ran around me a month ago! Where's my
money!!" LC's
response: No documentation? Tough Shit.
Update: UP Labor Relations has access to work histories all the
way back to
Granville Dodge. But let a Local Chairman ask about a
claim from last May,
and all of a sudden, the entire system shuts down. Go figure. I
guess it's
just UP's version of Windows '72.
Other Matters. By the time you read this, UTU locals nationwide will
have
elected new officers or, more likely, re-elected the same damned
fools. It
should be noted that the people who represent you are not in it for
the
money. (At least until they get to the International.) Nor are
they in it
for the glory. Or the fun. Or the glamour.
Your union is YOUR union.
If you haven't served as an officer or committeeman, I gotta ask you:
WHY
NOT?
Sure, it means giving up a little free time. Sure, it means
taking an active
role in the decisions that affect your job. Long hours and low
pay. Sounds
like railroading to me. You might even start coming to
union meetings.
Safety: I had a chance to review the BLE's complaint forms
on the new
Roseville yard. Enlightening and informative.
We intend to follow through
with the fight for safe working conditions and cooperate with the BLE
locally, no matter what the drones at the International do.
I still don't
understand why we all just can't get along. Of course, we
do. I can
assure anyone who reads this that I consider my BLE counterpart a
trusted and
able ally in our battles against the carrier, and I'll bet the same
holds
true across the nation. (No matter what the jackasses in Ohio
say.)
Members come first, NOT politics!
Speaking of safety, I've been told that Roseville Yard is
looking pretty
good, number-wise. Too bad numbers don't mean anything to you if
you're
injured. But, I'm really proud of the job we've done here
as far as safety
goes. With all the new people working here and a new yard and
changing
operations, we've done a fine job. Keep it up; for
yourselves, your
families, for your brothers and sisters on the job. Well
Done.
Keep looking out for each other,
SARGE
MORE (can you stand it?) PUNKISMS
1 Punkyroids That
minor irritation felt after a Punky ass chewin'
2 Punkins
You remember, Halloween and stuff. (or Khan's head)
3 Punkocracy
Whatever you think, Punky Rules.
4 Puncuation Pause while
you're waiting for your level.
5 Punctillionism. Detailed Ass-kissin'
by subject
6 Punkrastination
Putting off No. 1
Question Of The Month.
"If you owned your own business, would you hire these guys?"
asked at a
meeting in Omaha about FRA inspectors.
WE GET LETTERS, Part 2
Yet another irate employee writes:
Dear Snake,
Having only been a recently lied to and employed switchman, I felt it
wise to
keep my peace about the UP. However, I would like to apply
some of the
training I picked up in my last profession and let you know how this
place
really works.
First, let me qualify myself by saying I have a degree in accounting
and have
given up a fairly good job on the basis of the liars UP sent out to
recruit
people. Not only that, the UP folks in charge of the numbers
have to work
with the most out-dated trash I have ever seen as far as accounting
practices
go. Not only that, their managers have absolutely NO experience
in
accounting that I can see. There are a few in there who try real
hard, but
after all, what can one person do, when the whole system sucks?
You can't
make money in any business when you can't handle your accounts
receivable. In
some cases, these morons are hauling freight for FREE! Somebody ought
to tell
the managers and bean-counters about that one! Anyone in
Omaha know this?
Doubt it. They can't do the math either. I wish I
hadn't made the mistake
of going to work for the UP, but I have applications out for some REAL
businesses. For those of you who are stuck here; you have
my sympathy.
I'll sign my name when I no longer have to get a reference.
Pissed in Stockton.
DUMB-ASSED SWITCHMAN OF THE MONTH AWARD
Having been advised, once again, not to confer this illustrious award
upon
unwilling and ignorant recipients, the Editors, once again, ignore
sage
counsel and proceed.
This month's honoree is a recently converted trainman who has seen the
error
of his ways and become a switchman apprentice.
Our candidate has just recently been re-elected to his post as Sec.-Treas.
of
Local 492 for the ninety-third time, as well as upsetting the
incumbent of
that same body for the post of Legislative Rep. In his
spare time he
manages to cause trouble in so many other ways that we can't list them
here
for lack of space. He probably knows more about what's
happening in your
local than you do.
After being piloted by an experienced switchman young enough to be his
grandson, our honoree successfully completed an entire shift as the
Hump
Utility Man almost without incident. (Our pilot says it took 30 mins.
to show
him how to turn on his lantern.) We eagerly await his first solo
performance,
since the carrier has deemed pilots an unnecessary expense. We
hereby award
the DUMB-ASSED SWITCHMAN of THE MONTH, with over-achiever oak leaf
cluster,
to Brother Daryl Stinchfield. You may pick up your
cheeseburgers at any
time!
WE GET MORE LETTERS, Part 3
To the Editor,
I am a "foamer" here in Wisconsin and SNAKEBITES has made
its way onto our
E-mail system. The Union Pacific Adams Subdivision is my south
lot line. I
showed some of the guys on the local switch job here in Adams and they
got a
big kick out of it. I think the yard foreman said something
along the lines
of "aint that the truth" as he was reading some of your
articles.
Most all of the guys here in Adams are old CNW people and the most
common
remark here is that "for every two steps forward CNW took, UP
takes three
backward". UP trains based out of Adams serve the
bustling industrial
center of Wisconsin Rapids via trackage rights. They share a
joint main line
and yard there with the reluctantly union Wisconsin Central.
Since competition for carloads in the 'Rapids is intense because two
railroads serve all of the papermills, CNW had their people from
switchmen to
section crews talking to the customers, saying "Is there anything
we can get
for you?" . Just like a real railroad should be operated.
Some switch crews
were actually calling customer on their cell's asking them if there
were any
cars that were ready to be picked up early. I was told
that Omaha got wind
of this and, shortly after the UP assimilation of the CNW, a memo went
up in
the yard office to the effect of "ONLY U.P. customer service
representatives
are allowed to contact customers."
The moral of the story is...Never let good customer relations get in
the way
of corporate bureaucracy.
Karl R.,
Adams Wisconsin.
MANAGEMENT TRAINING ON THE UP, Part 7
Start with a cage containing five apes. (Parallel drawn here is
not a
coincidence.)
In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it.
Before long,
an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon
as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water.
After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all
the
apes are sprayed with cold water. This continues through several more
attempts. Pretty soon, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the
other
apes all try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace
it
with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the
stairs.
To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another
attempt and
attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be
assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a
new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer
takes
part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes
it to
the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him
have
no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they
are
participating in the beating of the newest ape.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes that
were
sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever
again
approaches the stairs. Why not?
Because that's the way they've always done it, and that's the way it's
always
been around here.
And that's how company policy begins....
Snakebites is published as a public nuisance by the Roseville
switchmen.
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