Rumors of the Month.......

Past and present Roseville Officers receive Track & Time on Main Track, however they put their highrailer on the incorrect Main
Track and come nose to nose with the commute train. What disciplinary action is appropriate ? Stud Duck would have viewed the
problem clearly !!! Stand them against the wall and shoot them all. Let God sort'em out ! 

WE WILL DELIVER! Thank You, U.P., for giving Snakebites a reason to come back to life, to revive our interest in our creative
self, to find humor and communication more attractive than anger and frustration, and to be an active partner in this Railroad.

Ten years ago a small group of dirty- necked, Roseville Switchmen developed the concept of having a little fun and doing a little
communicating to deal with the absurdity that the S.P. was closing the Hump Yard to flat switch as a method of saving money and
of being more productive. It makes one wonder why they built a hump in the first place. Duh! And from the Foreman's Hump
Shanty Fire slithered Snakebites, a sporadic outpouring of wisdom, venom, and humor. We had fun with our new tool and used it
like a double-edged sword. It made us feel empowered to defend our point of view, but little by little events settled down, and it
was revealed that the cost of flat switching was much higher than anticipated. There were some serious injuries, damaged loads,
and the inability to spread block destinations. The Hump reopened and we were back to business as usual. We no longer had a
driving, burning, cause and apathy ate us alive. Snakebites was defanged!

Today we are working for a new organization that is savvy, smart and arrogant. They don't need to ask about the lay of the land
or the history of problems on the old Suffering Pacific. By God, they have changed the lay of the land and already have the
answers! As we look at the blueprint of the new Roseville Yard we see tracks that go from one end of the yard to the other
without any crossovers. We are told there will be no wrong routed or bad ordered cars, therefore no need for access into that rail
except to arrive or depart. So SIMPLE, why didn't I think of that ?

Last night I was switching cars in the East Yard. There were 40 to 50 MPH gusts of wind out of the Southwest. When we kicked
an empty bulkhead flatcar down the 60 lead, it would roll a few hundred feet, come to a gentle stop, then roll right back at us. A
new terminal officer drove by and I flagged him down to watch the phenomena. He was amazed. We both agreed the grade was
similar to the new Hump grade, except the East Yard had no Dowdy Retarders to further slow the rolling car. In a flash his face
brightened, as he explained that the wind was out of the Southwest and would only help the cars at the new hump roll faster. I felt
like the Polish carpenter who was reminded by the Superintendent that the nails in the box that were pointed East were for the
other side of the house. Does the wind blow both ways????

Sorry, I got a little off track in my enthusiasm to illustrate all the new issues and fun we will have in the next few years as this new
Railroad seeps forward, or whatever way the wind blows. I don't want Snakebites to BOMB out early. Oh! Excuse me; I didn't
mean to use that kind of explosive language.

Without further fragmentation, I cordially invite all my Railway Brothers and Sisters, U.P. Management, former Ringling Brothers
employees, Bomb Squad Members, Yardmasters who can write, (or draw) and other interested parties to express their opinions,
or write an article, or simply make our editor-in- chief, Perry White, laugh... 

Please send your contributions to:

Snakebites, c/o Mark Chastain, a.k.a. S. Slater E-mail at: A LITTLE VENOM stUPid RailRoad "Usually
Parked!" "We deliver...eventually!" It seems such a short time ago that we shared the fascinating stories of S.P. incompetence
that simultaneously entertained, and worried us. Fortunately, now that the "smartest railroad in the world" has come to our rescue,
we can now all rest easy. (Or, could this be another instance of there being, "no greater veil than that of the intellect?") Just kick
back, plug those ears, and peer through those fashionable safety glasses at the glossy new railroad order that fixes urinals by
placing brake shoes in them....(Why didn't the old espee ever think of that? It's so.... logical?)

Ain't it wonderful! The new U.P. Timekeeping department not only never answers the phone, but when you do finally get through,
a recording informs you that the mailbox is full; to please try again... later. How in the world do they manage to screw up a regular
switchman's pay? A guy who never changes jobs, and never works a rest day? VAYA CON HUEVOS!, (These guys are soooo
superior to what we had before!)

Have you noticed that when you actually talk to a live crew dispatcher, that some moves that are legal, may not be now;
depending on which dispatcher you talk too. Sometimes, with a live move, they won't let you bump until after midnight because
that's the way they understand it to be. I wonder why they don't know? Could it be that the smartest railroad in the world isn't
focused on training their people? One wonders what the hell they are focused on? (Citing injured employees for violations

Why are bombs unsafe to move one day, and perfectly safe the next? Why, after declaring that all of the bombs are found, do
more pop up the very Next day?

Where is the logic in tearing up all of Antelope before beginning reconstruction? I guess I just don't see the big picture. Does

Our shanties are gone now...and the ghosts of the "old heads" have no place to deal a game of Lou...Computers have bumped the
guy we used to trade insults with, and a good old fashioned ass chewin'' has been replaced by something' they call "Level three!"
But, by Gadfry, we'll just keep on strugglin', like that broken winged bird, around and around and.........

Jimmy Olsen, Cub Reporter

Griever's Corner

Your Local Chairman declines to comment at this time. But if he didn't....................

Dumb-Ass switchman of the month: J.K. Brown. No comment.

Newest idea that won't work: one lead to the rockpile and of course, through the yard. (Personal reasons for this one, proved it
myself!) Guided tour of the month: Any company officer willing to risk showing up anywhere near 71 rail. (Wear your rubbers!} 

Sewer Joke of the Month: 295 rest rooms. Nobody rests in there. State of Cal has rules about this stuff but Uncle Poop seems to
think they're aimmune. We'll see............

Sup't. Bradley says we do a good job switching cars. But as thieves we are lacking. Try Harder.

Has anyone noticed that our General committee is harder to talk to than Omaha? I try both daily, and Omaha is easier. 

Following brought to my attention: A man giving a urine sample accidentally spilled some of the toxic stuff on the floor of the
police department and the drones in charge called a hazmat team to clean up. Seems he told them he had a shot or two of gasoline
before they caught up with him and might light up. Moral : Always cooperate when you are tested, but don't smoke near the test
area. Next time I will present a full report on everything you always wanted to know, including the meaning of life in the universe,
and how it all relates to switching 'em out in Roseville, time permitting. It won't. Bill Schultz, Roseville Switchmen's Local


When a new agreement results in the loss of seniority, shouldn't there be some compensation for that loss? Those that are
empowered to propose compromises in order to arrive at mutually acceptable work rules are obligated, I would think, to seek some
compensatory damages for the employees that will, unfortunately, be financially injured by these new agreements. To put an unfair
burden on the few of us that actually lose seniority inside our home yards is wrong.

There is no quarrel with any changes that affect us all equally. This is about a select few that will be adversely affected for the
rest of our careers. Our seniority is worth something. We deserve monetary compensation for every number that we lose within
our home yards......

Dan Mathies, Roseville Switchman

Ask Dan Landers

Dear Dan, I was recently injured and was required by the company to re-enact the accident . After the re-enactment, I was cited
for twenty-three safety violations and nominated for a level five. My question: Does this mean I get a much higher settlement? 

Thanks, M.C.

Dear M.C., Of course your settlement will be much higher. That's why they do the re- enactment! (You didn't think they would do
it to find you responsible, did you?)

Dear Dan, How come, when I phone the crew dispatcher, they always answer me with the recording: "Your call will be answered
in the order it was received..." Why ain't I ever first? 

Puzzled, T.T.

Dear T.T., Why...Why...Why.. I don't know what to tell ya.....But, when the new agreement goes into affect, and all them
out-a-towners run around you, you'll be gettin' that same recordin'..., only from El Paso....!

Dear Dan, Whenever I work the East Yard, I make suggestions to the yardmaster that will expedite the work, and permit me to
go to beans on time and give my crew a shot at a decent quit..... How come the yardmaster ignores my suggestion, tells me an old
joke, slaps me on the back, badmouths the hoghead, and makes me work overtime?

Trapped, K.S.

Dear K.S., He's a yardmaster.

Dear Dan, I'm a female hoghead and have been working with these wonderful switch crews lately. Sometimes, an annoying thing
happens when I enter the shanty...a switchman will be talking about something, and just before he uses a descriptive adjective,
he'll look around the shanty...see me...and just stop talking! Why...?

Perplexed, M.M.

Dear M.M.,'re ...uh..uh......uh...?

Dear Dan; I always admired how clean & bright the U.P. kept its yellow engines with silver Trucks. They always looked washed
when they came rolling through Carlin, NV. Now it seems the U.P. is no longer proud enough to keep their equipment sparkling

RV engineer P.L.

Paul, you're right on target. However, the U.P. is going to paint their fleet a new color. It's called blonde. It's not very bright, but it
spreads easy. 


Dear Dan; I was having a difficult time readjusting to the new, U.P. mandated DOS format on my FRA & timeslip tie up. I had to
remember my employment with Aerojet General in 1961 & 1962. But my 30 yr. old son saved me by having some old manuals.
What's up with this relic use? 

Mark Chastain, Roseville Switchman

Dear Mark In a year or so the new U.P. will come along with this great new idea called "Windows" and you'll be right back to the



Sharp-eyed Bob Pettus is our Switchman of the Month. Last month Bob found several broken rails, saving the U.P. a bundle of
cash. Bob also goes after the work in an aggressive and efficient manner. Thanks, Bobby, for being our Switchman of the Month;
you get 100 "Atta boys" or the reduction of two levels of discipline or 10 cheeseburgers with all the trimmings. Keep up the good

Perry White, Editor-in-Chief

UTU DESIGNATED LEGAL COUNSEL Don Britt and Jim Gillwee of the Crow Law Firm

800-445-2889 800-345-2889 (out of state) 916-441-2980

For help when real trouble strikes!

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