With so much going on itís hard to get a grip on reality, somewhat like UPís management. Your loyal servant saw a video of Mr.
Davis and other assorted distorters of truth make themselves into media figures by answering none of the questions directly other
than ďIíll get back to you on that oneĒ or making some lame excuses about their poor performance. Granted, the tape was a little
dated and Iím sure they have some shiny new phony bullshit they can spread on the unfertile fields of UP employees everywhere.
At any rate, donít expect a lot to change. The UP hasnít got a clue and in your LCís humble opinion, theyíre gonna crash and

Uncle Sam wonít let the Railroads die, but they keep assuming they can do it better than the folks doing it now. Hate to admit it,
but they may be right. (And I havenít seen the Govt. do anything right since they won WWII.) Unless you can admit you have a
problem, you cannot begin to correct said problem. Drunks in AA have known this for years. 

As for other matters, I havenít pissed anyone off lately, so here goes: Dumb-Assed Switchman of The Month: ME! For not
realizing soon enough that Omaha management is staffed by liars, cheats, thieves, low- lifes, scumbags, generally useless and
unworkable dross who couldnít get a job poking the eyes out of pigs at the slaughterhouse! 

WHEW!! That felt GOOD!!! 

Other Matters Rumor has it that Roseville switchmen will be banging Ďem out at the west end by October or so. Uncle Peteís
plans for the yard have progressed that far, if you can believe it. Like most of those plans, I would take a salt tablet and hope for
the best. We can finally shove the first car over the ďbumpĒ (not a hump as I see it) and find out if the optimum roller bearing will
roll. Well, we can always hope for a strong Delta Breeze to help us shove the bowl.

Bro. John Barba has pulled the pin and taken a well deserved retirement. Weíll miss you Johnnie, Youíre one of a kind. Someone
told me, but I canít confirm, that John was the reason they shut down the Nuke Plant at Rancho Seco. Welds leaking, or
something. Nice one, Johnnie!!!

Yardmasters: It might be wise to thoroughly launder and/or destroy clothing you wear to work after the revelation that the FBI is
able to do the sort of testing we have seen in D.C. DNA results will prove beyond a doubt that you have been screwing us for

A fellow I know who works for the Sherwin- Williams Co., a paint manufacturer, says that the UP bought over 2 million gallons of
that awful yellow paint from them many years ago and has taken every opportunity to get rid of it. No wonder.

Littering: Be advised you may be fired for littering. Understand Bro. Mathies was accosted by one of the UP construction
managers, and taking him for a new hire, told him he was fired for tossing out a water bottle. While we do not condone littering of
any kind, it is a little hard to take when some humorless NAZI from the UP tries to fire a 30 + year employee over such silliness.
Good thing your LC wasnít there, Iíd have had enough fun to get us both fired. Hey, asshole, if youíre still out there, come and
see me! Disclaimer and Denial! Last issue there were modifications and editing done to this writerís column which were totally
uncalled for. As most of my regular readers are painfully aware, I am NOT editorially or politically correct. Any mention of
gender other than my own was done by a PC drone at the general committee and does not in any way reflect the world view of
me or 99.9% of any living switchman. If this sort of censorship and nonsense continues, I shall have to take my best articles to the
New Republic, where they can be altered by experts. ** Editors note: We have altered this article also just to let him know who
has the real and final power Those were the good old days! Remember when we all thought SP management were the dumbest
bastards in history? Guess what?

Dumb, greedy, stupid, selfish, nasty, shortsighted, and generally better off selling Chevys to their relatives; the UP is here and all
we can do is adjust and hope that by sheer physics we can suck them down to our level. A railroad with the human touch! S.P.
folks will never forget, as long as some of the old heads are still around, that no matter what ever else might happen, there was
some loyalty to the railroad. There is no loyalty here, and it is indeed sad.

UPís attitude is we are replaceable by another piece of equipment, another body. The latest wrinkle in this bag of dirty laundry is
that Uncle Pete thinks he can train and qualify Conductors and Engineers in record time. As the most ignorant of management
trainees could tell this bunch, disaster is just around the corner. 

My sources in Texas say near misses happen on a daily basis so get ready for a big boom from the Lone Star State. As usual,
silence and phony press noises come from the "Twin Towers of Dumb" in Cleveland. They are too busy trying to dig tunnels under
each otherís walls to pay attention to whatís really happening.

Weíre on the way to Reno this week to suck up some BS and socialize with our allies and maybe some enemies as well. A full
report from your local chairman in the next issue of this rag. Yours Truly, Sgt. Schultz


SPARKS - U.P. recently hired a batch of students at Sparks, Nevada. Some of the recruits complained that they had been here
nearly a month and still had not received a paycheck. The union complained to timekeeping that slavery was illegal in this country
and something should be done. Timekeeping replied that this was not slavery because slaves receive room and board! COLTON -
Oh those bad boys in Colton. Now they have stick-on decals of a little boy with an SP hat pissing on a UP shield. Now some
pervert has taken these decals and is applying them to the sides of locomotives so the little man is pissing on the "official" UP
decal on the side of the engine. Shame! OREGON - Everyone is curious how UP is going to nuke Eugene when Hinkle is plugged
solid and even Eugene cannot keep up with the work. Hey, but that's the plan! UP doesn't burn bridges behind them, they burn
them before they get to 'em. ________________________________________ 

The contents of SNAKEBITES are half-truths, downright lies, innuendos, rumors and other fiction. Any resemblance to real life
people or situations is unintended. If anyone takes offense, they should take a pill, relax and think about getting a real life.
SNAKEBITES is an unofficial sporadic publication by the Roseville Switchmen and comes to you absolutely FREE. However, to
be removed from the mailing list will cost $100.00. Address correspondence to: SNAKEBITES 146 Tierra Way Auburn, CA
95603 or E-mail to: Please copy, reproduce, distribute, forward, edit, or omit any or all of this or just leave it
on the engine for the next crew. _______________________________________ 

THE CROW LAW FIRM Designated UTU Legal Counsel Jim Gilwee and Lloyd " Chip" Rabb II Calif. office (800)795
6555 or (916)441-2980 Ariz. office (800)354-3352 or (520)888-6740 When real trouble strikes!

TALES FROM THE FAR WEST or THE TCS CUTOVER BLUES - by Bad Order Bob Paulson "Give it a
chance. It will take a while to work the bugs out," said the MTO to the assembled skeptics at Martinez. Here it is one month later
and TCS is still a mess. One has to wonder how in hell this company (UP) has turned a profit in the past. The trainers are still
there everyday and treating our questions like it was the first time they've heard them. Who are these people? Is incompetency a
qualification for their positions? Then there are the clerks back in St. Louis who sound as if this is all new to them too! I really
wanted to participate in the stock sharing, but, after seeing this operation, I've lost all faith in that venture. Or perhaps that is the
answer. While the stock is low we all buy it up and kick the bastards out! Thirty days into this and all I've learned how to do is "W
T" everything that I don't get to. That's "worked by another train" to those who have not been initiated. Try it. It works. Seems as
long as you write any of the preassigned codes in the right hand column there are no questions asked by the clerks in St. Louis.
Then there is the time spent handling the paperwork. God! How I'd like to have the paper concession that supplies the printers.
Two hours minimum at start of shift running yard summaries, track warrants, work reports, and copying faxes from customers.
Three assignments, two computer terminals, and one printer add up to six hours of wasted time before turning a wheel. But, the
ball buster is the one to two hours after everyone else has tied up that the foreman gets to spend completing paperwork, faxing to
St. Louis, and going over it with the clerk on the telephone. The first thing the clerk tells you is that they can't read the paperwork
because the fax equipment purchased in the seventies is too light. Or, the MTO didn't change the ribbon on the printer and the
original copy is unreadable. "You used a blue pen? The fax doesn't read blue." All this and you're tired and hungry and just want to
go home. This will read well at the investigation you think as you slam the phone down! Oh! Well! Change the printer ribbon, run
another copy, mark it, fax it, call St. Louis and now we're on overtime, but, my TPA is so high I'd have to work thirteen hours
everyday to come out ahead! And they wonder why I won't work a foreman position! Hey! I'm home in bed by the time my
foreman drags himself home from Ozol Yard. I'll bleed the tracks, I'll put the drag and the locomotive away, just keep the
paperwork at bay. 


Well, the brain trust on the 12th floor is starting to get desperate. They've looked into the crystal ball, called the Psychic Hotline
and read tea leaves but still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. U.P. is handling 148,000 cars a day. That adds up to a
negative cash flow. They need at least 150,000 cars a day to break even. But guess what? The LA Basin is plugged and, like
ripples in a pool, the problem is spreading outward, which means when they try to increase the number of cars online, they only
add to the congestion problem. And that doesn't even consider that they have run off so much business that they may not be able
to reach the magic number even if they could run a railroad. Did you ever squeeze a balloon? That is what U.P. has done in
Houston. They squeezed it and the problem popped up somewhere else. They then squeezed that and it popped up in LA Basin.
Stay tuned for the LA squeeze. Should we start a lottery on where the next problem area pops up? SP may not have charged their
customers but at least we got the cars to them. UP can't even get cars to their customers. Adding to the problem is that they have
begged and borrowed money and are out of options. Meanwhile the stock has taken a swan dive and like vultures circling fresh
road kill, the corporate raiders (lead by none other than Art Schoener) are lining up in preparation to come in and do their slice and
dice routine. The STB (and the rest of the Feds) have all been paid off and so will not interfere. Meanwhile, you wonder why your
pay is short and when the madness will end. Rome is burning and all that Emperor Davidson can do is play (with) his fiddle.

THE SYSTEM - by Dennis Wilson, Lamp Editor

The UP TCS system has been in effect for over a Month now here in Los Angeles. The yard inventory has remained stable, only
entire trains disappear. Working with TCS and having ten years experience with TOPS and TCC, I have formed the following
conclusion! TCS sucks! If we were all computer programmers the system would be a piece of cake. Most of us received training
on the art of being a switchman or brakeman, not computers. SP clerical forces were trained on simple TOPS and TCC formats
that in most instances were programmed by the PF keys. (push PF8 to put a crew on duty) They now enter seven different
formats to do one would do. Clerks could also check their payroll daily using the DAR. They now have to correct shortages after
receiving their paycheck as the UP system is for train service. The CCATS system for trainmen displayed assignments by
terminals or by source of supply and was menu driven. This antiquated system allows you to look at who is assigned, or who is
working, only after entering nine characters for each the working personal and the assigned personal terminal by terminal only.
Extra boards appear to be in Chinese. Who is where and how long is a mystery. Now the good part. We cut over and
implementors are assigned to each terminal. Trainmen, switchmen, and clerks are trained on the system. A Month passes,
implementors are replaced. The new implementors have far less knowledge of the system than the original. Every question posed,
requires them to go to their notes. In many instances the implementors have less knowledge than the clerical forces they are to
oversee. (sort of reminds me of the LA command center) Speaking of the command (sabotage) center get this: The 7pm Anaheim
crew per the sabotage center deadheads to Los Nietos to build a Roseville empty train. They build the train and are then instructed
to put the train back in the yard at Los Nietos as the train cannot leave. (congestion, crew, who knows) They are then instructed
to deadhead to Industry and get paperwork for Walnut siding and take Walnut to Colton. The crest conductor at Industry called
the sabotage center to confirm their instructions. He posed the question, "will Clowntown take the train" the sabotage center
answered "no but put him on it anyway" The crest conductor suggested putting the 4am hauler on Walnut instead and the reply
was OK, but leave the 7pm crew on Walnut until they die. (let the 4am sit at Industry for three hours then go to Walnut) This gets
better. Due to ignorance of how long it takes to shove a train back into three yard tracks the Anaheim crew shows up at Industry
at 4:30am. The crest conductor queries the command center as what to do as no paperwork as yet has been forwarded. (orders,
consist) The sabotage center decides to let the 7pm crew go home and send the 4am crew to Walnut. The 4am crew arrives at
Walnut and is ready to go at 5:30 am. The terminal officer at LA overrules the sabotage center and instructs the 4am to tie the
train back down and go to Los Nietos and patch a stack train. They comply and are ready around 11am. The terminal officer is
overruled by an higher authority and they tie that train back down and double out the Roseville train the 7pm started with. By the
time the Roseville train is ready, it moves from Los Nietos to Walker siding, (five miles) and is tied down. Two crews have moved
a train five miles in both their tour of duties. This is the UP way! THE JERRY-DICK LOVE LETTER By now, each UP
employee has received a letter from Jerry-Dick that says "Thanks for getting screwed, now please don't lay off on week-ends."
Without going into great detail, lets just examine some of their double-speak. "More predictable work schedules through an
innovative crew scheduling program." This means that you will get out on your rest, every 8 hours. "Operationally, we're heading
out of the woods." What are you guys smoking? We're out there on the trains Jerry-Dick. Not only are you still in the woods,
you're lost. "MANPOWER . . . . we simply will not turn people loose on our property without the right skills." Hey Jerry-Dick,
CMS already yanks student brakemen out of class to run as conductors, don't feed us that line of crap! If you really want to save
money, then quit mailing propaganda BS out to the employees. It only serves to piss us off when you treat us like ignorant children.
We know who to blame for the mess this railroad is in and so do you!