Grace, mercy and peace to you through Jesus Christ who gives us the blessing of marriage, family and children. Amen.

Genesis 2:18-24 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." ¹⁹ Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. ²³ The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, 'for she was taken out of man." ²⁴ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Some quotes on marriage: "Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare." - Joan Collins "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations -- we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together." -Rodney Dangerfield

Some of these may bring a chuckle out of us. But don’t you grow tired of people always ripping on marriage? Marriage is being attacked more than ever. There are attacks on God-pleasing sexual unions and marriage on shows like "Friends" and "Desperate Housewives," on satellite radio by Howard Stern, and in politics with gay marriage on the ballot in Wisconsin this November.

After hearing so many negative views on marriage, wouldn’t it be nice to hear the positives of marriage? What better source to turn to for a positive view on the blessings of marriage, then to the one who instituted it? Today we’ll see that in marriage you are faithful companions and you have a lifelong commitment until death parts you.

When you were married, as a husband, you promised to love your bride as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her. As the bride, you promised to submit to your husband as the Church submits to Christ. Did you really understand what you were promising in those vows? Faithfulness, love, support, and help, in sickness and in health, until death parts you. Your vows meant that you were betting the farm, biting the bullet, putting all your eggs in one basket, and burning your bridges behind you, "until death parts you."

On your wedding day, you made a lifelong commitment to one another. This means that there is no "playing the field." With God, there is no "field" to "play." God has given you a single blade of grass from the field, and you have to stick with that blade of grass until one of you DIES. Before your wedding day you could look the field over (as long as the field was dressed decently). You could even date several blades while you were considering which one to pick. But then God gave you only one blade of grass out of the entire field.

Some people don’t like this. They want to leave some room for a way out, for divorce – for getting out of the marriage vows. They want to be able to choose another blade of grass if they felt they made a mistake the first time. They feel that if this is God is against this, his point of view is an extremely narrow and restrictive one.

Well, duh!

Of course it is! Two-way traffic lanes are also restrictive and narrow, and if you decide to wander over the line you could find yourself plowing head on into a semi carrying a load of Case tractors. That would put a real damper on your love life, wouldn’t it? Sometimes "narrow and restrictive" is good news, not bad.

God doesn’t want you messing around with Betty Sue over here or Billy Bob over there. God has narrowed the field down for you. Out of all the billions of people in the world, God has brought the two of you together.

God has narrowly defined marriage and made it the most fulfilling of all human relationships. God is not cruel when he sets these parameters. He does this so marriage may be a blessing.

Marriage was a blessing for the first man, Adam. God had Adam name all of the creatures. Imagine the situation – Adam examining each creature and saying, "Mr. and Mrs. Giraffe, Mr. and Mrs. Gorilla, Mr. and Mrs. Dodo Bird, etc." It wouldn’t take long for him to realize that something was missing in his life. He wanted a companion, someone by his side, someone with whom he could walk with, talk with, and love as an equal partner.

God made a woman out of Adam’s rib. He was providing man with a helper suitable for him. God created man to be the servant-leader, and woman to be the servant-helper. Does that terminology – leader and helper – leave a sour taste in your mouth? Often we think of a helper as being someone who is less important or less than equal. But look at how God describes himself. In Psalm 46:1 God says that He is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. God describes Himself as our Helper. He wants us to think of Him as someone that we can turn to in times of trouble. Is this so bad that God calls the woman the helper?

In His wisdom, God made a "helper suitable." Therefore, the wife has the responsibility to help her husband where he has weaknesses. Instead of exposing your husband’s faults, or leaving your husband because he has faults, you are to help him and cover up your husband’s weaknesses. That may mean assisting your husband in raising your children, working a part-time job or setting up appointments for the doctor and dentist. What’s so bad about this? If God doesn’t have a problem being our helper, why should a wife have a problem with this role? This is not a curse. It is a blessing to a marriage when a woman fulfills her role as the helper, and the husband treats her that way. God especially designed the woman to help the man where he is weak.

Husbands, your role then, is to be the spiritual leader of the family. That means that every decision you make is what is best for your family. That means you may need to stay home from hunting or golf if they take too much time away from your family. It may mean working less hours or finding a new job if your wife and kids need you at home more than they need your money. It means putting your wife up on a pedestal where she belongs. She is the crown of God’s creation and you treat her as such.

The problem with many men today is that they have abused their God-given roles as spiritual leaders. Some think they are the "king of the castle." The husband sits on his easy chair throne watching the football game and yells into the kitchen, "Hey, Alice, bring me another beer! Submit! Submit! Submit!" Other men have become "spiritual wimps." They have abdicated their roles as spiritual leaders. One Christian husband said that to me once and I reminded him, "You’re the leader." He replied, "I may be the leader, but she’s the boss."

There is no "boss" in the Christian family. We are not rivals. We are partners. We are companions. God created us differently to work together to give glory to God through our marriage. God has provided you wives with a husband who will lead you in what is best for you and the family. God has provided you husbands with someone to complete you, to cover up your weaknesses.

There once was a perfect man who was searching for the perfect wife, but he just couldn’t find one. All of the women in his world were lousy helpers, adulterous, unfaithful, and worst of all, ugly. Yet, instead of remaining single, he picked the most ugly woman he could find who had the worst body odor, and said, "I’m going to marry her." With that resolution, he cleaned her up, gave her all the riches of the world, gave her a facial, and made her the most beautiful woman in the world.

Some of you may be saying, "I wish that were my husband." Fellow Christians, that IS your husband. Jesus Christ is the perfect faithful husband, and we are the unfaithful wife. Yet Jesus, because He died for us, and because He pledged His love for us in our baptism, promises to forgive us and stick with us, in spite of our sins. Even if you’ve been unfaithful in your marriage, gotten a divorce, or complained about your spouse, Jesus died for those sins. Even though we have been unfaithful and left Him, He won’t ask for the divorce. Instead, He calls on you to return to Him. He’ll just clean you up and love you all the more. For this we can truly be thankful. Just as God provided Eve for Adam, so He has provided Christ for us. He has made us beautiful in His sight through the blood of Christ. What a blessing!

Although your wedding vows – "to be faithful, cherish, support, and help in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live" – were not specifically stated by God, they are concepts extracted directly from his Word. In fact, God positively rails against the evil of abandoning one’s marriage and family. "I hate divorce!" he thunders from the Old Testament. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her," he decrees in the New Testament. He goes on to point out that out of love, Jesus bled and died for the sake of a permanent relationship with us. Husband and wife are to have that same sacrificial love for one another for the sake of their permanent relationship. You see, God is really into commitment.

Realize that God is only requiring of you a small measure of what he requires of himself. In ways we cannot ever fully understand, God went through hell for us for the sake of love. Jesus is our model of what God thinks about commitment. He held back nothing for our sake. Our entrance into heaven came at the great cost of his life. "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world." (1 John 4:9)

Think of the soldier who died battling the Nazis so his wife and kids could live in freedom. Now multiply that passion and devotion by a factor of several billion. That will give you an idea of what motivated God to secure heaven for us. That is the kind of God we are dealing with.

God desires that you stick together no matter what – "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death parts you." God desires that you stick together no matter what – a car accident, Alzheimer’s, failed business ventures, or working long hours. God intends for your wedding vows to bring some certainty to an uncertain world. Your vows are intended to anchor you in the assurance that marriage is for life. God does not abandon us when the going gets rough, and he does not want us to abandon each other, either. Your vows are merely an extension of God’s love and commitment to you.

Love, though, is not always warm and easy. The cross of Christ serves as Exhibit A.

I had a member in my previous congregation named Cindy. A few years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her cancer was bad. Cindy endured several doses of intense chemotherapy, which by definition means she was horribly nauseous and vomiting. She lost all her hair. She lost a breast. Cindy and her husband John were looking death in the face.

Put yourself in John’s shoes. You get married with a certain expectation or at least a hope of how your life will be. Usually that vision does not include kneeling in the bathroom next to you cancer-ravaged wife as she grips the toilet bowl and pukes for days on end. That vision does not include the uncertainty of how to love or touch or care for your marriage partner.

Now, did John have the right to get angry with God and cry out, "It’s not fair. I didn’t sign up for this." NO! God gently reminds all of us: "When you took your wedding vows, you did sign up for this. ‘For better or worse; in sickness and in health.’"

John honored his vows and not only did she make it, but they made it. Their vows prevailed, like a lighthouse standing its ground in a hurricane.

Sadly many couples think that they can promise to stay together "as long as we both still love each other" or "as long as we get along" or "unless something icky happens, then I’m outta here." Well, God doesn’t buy it. God views our relationship as binding the moment we say "I do." "Until death parts you" is simply a restatement of Jesus saying, "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Love, real love, risks all for the sake of the beloved. When you say, "I do" that is really shorthand for "come what may, I am with you." God’s love is with you and so his love is yours to share with each other. This love is not feelings. It is fact. Love is not emotion. It is commitment. Love is not words, it is action. The Bible tells us exactly what love is: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." (1 John 3:16)

Love is difficult. Look at how difficult it was for Jesus. Grit your teeth and make it work! As long as you both shall live, Jesus will love you. As long as you both shall live, Jesus’ love will help you love each other. "Love never fails." Love each other, till death parts you. Amen.