Being a parent is never an easy task. Prayer is a necessary component to get through the day. Here is one prayer I found with which many of you may be able to identify:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray my sanity to keep.

For if some peace I do not find,

I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.

I pray I find a little quiet

Far from the daily family riot

May I lie back--not have to think

about what they're stuffing down the sink,

or who they're with, or where they're at

and what they're doing to the cat.

I pray for time all to myself

(did something just fall off a shelf?)

To cuddle in my nice, soft bed

(Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)

Some silent moments for goodness sake

(Did I just hear a window break?)

And that I need not cook or clean--

(oh well, I've got the right to dream)

Yes now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray my wits about me keep,

But as I look around I know--

I must have lost them long ago!

Raising children is certainly never an easy task. Well meaning friends and relatives offer counsel unsolicited. Books line the shelves of stores doling out advice from a hundred different perspectives. If you read magazine articles or watch talk shows which deal with the problems of the home, of discipline, of child-raising, etc., you may find helpful information when it comes to analyzing what is wrong. But when they turn to the question of what to do about it they are usually vague and tentative. Certain courses of action are suggested, and there is a tendency to leap from one panacea to another, but we find that we are really left without very much help.

In Deuteronomy 6:4-9 we have a wonderful pattern to follow in the whole matter of raising and training children. This passage is in the midst of Moses's great message to the second generation of Israelites in the wilderness as they are about to enter the land of Canaan. He is telling them how to live successfully in the land of promise to which God has brought them.

4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.

5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.

7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

A portion of you may think you can sit back and this will not affect you. Your kids are grown or not yet born; you are not married or have no kids. But you know I can’t let you off the hook. Do you remember that time you said "We do" when I asked you "Do you as a congregation undertake the responsibility of assisting the parents in the Christian nurture of this child?" We, as a community, as a church, have vowed to raise and assist in raising these children. What is described here is of value for all of us. The opening command applies to each of us here.

This starting point should not come as a surprise, but it is the crucial step we often miss. Before we can pass on the Christian faith to our children, it must be within us. We cannot pass on to them something which we do not possess. We can’t communicate that which we don’t know. Parents are models, and children will invariably follow the model. It is never whether you will impact your kids, but how.

Last week we saw the importance of the heart as the place from which the love of God should flow. The Hebrew concept of the heart differs from ours in that, for us, the heart is the seat of the emotions, feelings. For the ancient Hebrew, that was the stomach (you know how your bowels flutter when you are in love). The heart in the ancient world was the place of will, determination, intellect. It was what we call the mind. To set your heart on something was to make it guide your life.

So here, the Law of God must first be impressed upon us before we can impress it upon our kids.

It is not enough for you to hear God’s Word, you must meditate on it, let it filter down into your life. While our faith may well be personal it should never be private. It is to our shame that what we hold most dear, what affects our lives here on earth and for all eternality, we do not impart to our children.

What is impressed on our hearts will leave a mark on those around us. The command here is that as God’s Word filters into our lives, it will then flow out in the lives of those in our homes, especially to our children.

This word "impress" is interesting. The noun means tooth and the verb "to sharpen a knife". Other than this place, when used metaphorically, it refers to someone with a sharp tongue, biting, sarcastic words. In this context, the command is to see that one’s children are sharpened, equipped, trained. This is not something that happens overnight, not something that we do just once. This takes repeated effort, diligence, forethought.

Parents can be so concerned that their kids are signed up for soccer, gymnastics or dance, but neglect their spiritual health. They become alarmed if grades waiver, but don’t give it a second thought that they have not learned God’s Word. The programming of kids’ lives, the activity orientation is not itself wrong, but too often it becomes the driving factor that we no longer have time or energy for their spiritual development.

The "how to" is listed in such a way as to cover every conceivable aspect of life. In verse 7 the first component is verbal instruction. Certainly there is a lot our kids will pick up watching us, but talking is the foundation.

We live in a world of specialists; all aspects of our culture are given over to specialists. When it comes to impressing God’s law into the lives of our children, it does not take a seminary degree, nor personal perfection. It takes a sinner who knows God’s grace can work in their lives. That is all. Just as you can talk about your vocation, sports, the news, so also as God’s law is a part of your life, so it must become a part of your conversation with your children.

The Puritans took seriously the notion of family instruction. So much so they would say, "Every home a little church." They believed the father should be the pastor in his home the same way an ordained minister pastors the church. One writer called the home "the seminary of the church." The Puritans went so far as to publish elaborate directories of family worship. They were so serious about this that if a father neglected the spiritual training of his family, he could be brought before the elders for church discipline and if he refused to take his proper leadership role, he could be disbarred from the Lord’s Table. Such a thought seems extreme to us, which perhaps says more about our laxness than it does about the strictness of the Puritans. When should this training be done?

When you sit at home.

In our culture, perhaps the best time to sit together is at the dinner table. But it has to be a dinner table in which the children understand that this is a special time of the day, with the phones turned off and the door locked so there are no interruptions from the outside world. It also has to be a time when all understand that they don't have to eat in a hurry, a time when all can share the daily events, the struggles, the confusion, the hurts, the joys. At the same time, over the meal flow the calm and reassuring voices of the father and mother, salting that conversation with the word of God so that the children understand He is to be the plumb line of truth for every hope, dream, and fear of life.

When you walk along the road.

In our culture, we do little walking, but a lot of driving. How many of you spend an hour a day shuttling kids around to and from school, sports, music lessons? There are nights in our home we need an air traffic controller to handle the commotion to and from all the activities. That time in the car can be an excellent opportunity we often miss to talk, a time without interruptions from the phone or others, we can inquire more about our kids’ spiritual health.

If the radio is playing, you can discuss the contents of the lyrics. If your son or daughter doesn’t like the conversation, what are they going to do? Jump out?

When you lie down.

Bedtime is a great opportunity we often miss out on as we want to crash from the exhaustion of the day. Yet that is a wonderful opportunity to ask about their day and enable them to see God’s hand in their lives through the various events.

When our kids were little, Bible stories would be read. As they became older and they would spend that time in God’s Word on their own, the evening hours are an opportunity for them to have us to themselves. We’ve noticed that all it takes is to tell them to go to bed and suddenly they are full of questions. While we might see that as disobedience, we can also use that desire to stay up to talk about important aspects of the Christian life.

When you get up.

Some of you are morning people, so that may be more productive time for your family. I have few suggestions here, for in our home, that is the time we best avoid each other. Nevertheless, God leaves no time of day or night that can not be conducive to instruction. As parents we are not only to be growing in the knowledge of the word of God, but we are to be looking for those precious "teachable moments" when we can impress spiritual truths on our children.

Those are the times; how you make use of that time is what matters. Scripture does not outline the exact way we are to impress upon our kids God’s Word. One suggestion: Be Creative!

On the free table we have copies of As For My House, a fine devotional designed for fumbling and failing fathers such as I. There are readings Monday through Friday complete with the key thought of that passage and questions to ask as well as the answers. It is not so in depth that a young child cannot follow nor so simple that the text will not provoke discussion among those older. This is not the only means, but it is designed to encourage spiritual training, family worship in the home.

Another more formal form of teaching is through the Children’s Catechism. Catechizing our children is very important. When you brought your kids forward for baptism you vowed to:

Endeavor to set before him a godly example, that you will pray with and for her, that you will teach him the doctrines of our holy religion, and that you will strive, by all the means of God’s appointment, to bring her up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The children’s catechism is an excellent tool toward this end. By a series of simple questions and answers I guarantee both you and your kids will gain a better appreciation of the faith once delivered for all the saints.

The critical agent in this process of impressing our young people is not their Sunday School teachers, not their Christian school teachers, not their public school teachers, not just mom if she is the home school teacher, but the parents.

We watch over their development in so many ways. When babies, if they do not match up with the development of other kids, we ask the pediatrician if they are healthy and normal. We spend time helping them walk, tie their shoes, dress themselves. If they can’t read by a certain age, we look for specialists. If they struggle with addition, we’ll get some flash cards. Are we as concerned with their spiritual development? We want them to be a success in life and that is all well and good, but we must prepare them to not just make a living, but to live for the Lord!

We impress the truths of God’s Word not only by means of instruction, through formal and informal times of discussions, but visually as well. Impression comes by talking, but also by showing.

What is described here was taken literally by Jews for centuries. Just as we tie a string on our finger to remind us of what we must do, so here a visual reminder of God’s grace was to be kept in front of them all the time. Wrapped inside a small leather pouch a piece of parchment would contain four passages of Scripture, including this one from Deuteronomy 6.

Scholars debate whether Moses intended this to be done at this time, although centuries later some Jews made an ostentatious display of these tephillim or phylacteries. Christ criticized the Pharisees regarding their use in Matthew 23:5. His critique was not the existence of the small boxes tied to their forehead and on their arms, but their pretence, their desire to gather attention, to show their spirituality.

Christians may be tempted to dismiss the Jewish use of tephillim (phylacteries) and mezuzah (scrolls inscribed with these verses, placed in cases, and fixed on doorposts) as unnecessary literalism. However, the question is whether we are any more serious or successful in flavoring the whole of life with conscious attention to the law of God as a personal, familial and social strategy for living out our commitment to loving God totally.

We may rewrite this as:

Bind them with magnets to your Frig, tap them to the windows above your sink, adorn you bathroom mirror with God’s Word.

Verse 9 extends beyond our home. There is no fortress mentality here. God is concerned with families but also with communities. Just as God’s Word impacts you, it will then extend to your family, and beyond to your home, your neighborhood.

The reference here again deals with the use of symbolic reminders that God is sovereign over your home. This refers to the mezuzah, the Hebrew word for "door post," the small box attached to an observant Jewish home which, like the tephillim on the forehead, holds parchments of Scripture. It served as a reminder to the occupants as well as those coming to the home, that this home is consciously under the divine King.

Our Puritan ancestors incorporated this concept in their architecture.

The six paneled door is a reminder of Christ’s victory over death and fulfilling the Law for us. Notice next time the symbol of the Cross over the two tablets of the law.

Do people know your home is dedicated to Christ?

The impact of God’s Law and Gospel will be seen in something as mundane as the checkbook and calendar, and I don’t mean putting Bible verses on your checks to witness to store clerks - rather how we set our priorities, what we do with God’s gifts to us. It will be seen in when the alarm is set each Lord’s Day, how we spend our Sabbath, how we structure our life, how we make our homes available.