This year's write-up is dedicated to our good friend and bartender, Mike. We missed you, Mike, and hope you are continuing in your recovery.
For starters, 2005 brought us the best weather we have seen in over a decade. It was one of those put your lawn chair in the lake years where we had to stay in the water just to keep cool. The raft kept afloat a new record of 17 people and one dog before it sank. Considering two of the people were Mike Widen and Rob Hutter, weighing well over 400 pounds between them... that's some record! Thanks to the DNR and God (rumor has it they are one and the same, but we know this not to be true), the lake was down 18". This made for great sand pie making for the little ones. It also made it treacherous for the boats and more than one prop saw its demise.
2005 also brought us "Fear Factor" thanks to the Birschbach family. A great time was had by all and it was especially nice to have challenges that involved all age groups. While the teams turned out to be extremely competitive, there was little or no cheating... except maybe the smoke bomb event where one bomb mysteriously went off without a fire burning beneath it! While there were too many events and winners to mention, let's hear it for Sarah Berry who out lasted her husband on the beam balancing event; Sam Fosbinder for his "slam dunk" in the free-throw event; Darryl Baier, although disqualified, for his mouthful of night crawlers in the American Pie relay; Judy Treleven for peeing her pants during the Alzheimer's relay; and Matthew Baier, the only person to roll an ace, and for actually giving serious consideration to eating a night crawler for the sake of his team. Way to go, Matt!
With perfect weather and all this activity, you would think that there would be many serious contenders for Mary and the Dice. If the number of incidents were all that mattered, Bean would have taken both Mary and the Dice. But then, we are all finally getting it that many of Bean's escapades are just because Bean is Bean. Therefore, we will start with her. Other nominees are mentioned in no particular order.
Bean Durante: Being belligerent toward Ken Jackson; falling out of Dave and Tom's boat; jumping into the 55 Gal. garbage can on the beach to crush aluminum cans with her bare feet; giving herself a head injury with her own golf club (must have been some wind-up); throwing the sacred DICE in the water; locking Pat Laasch inside her own bedroom; showing disrespect to the S.H.I.T. by directing the F-Bomb toward him; trying to alter the S.H.I.T.'s daily diary of award contenders; allowing Brain Berry to hang her up-side-down behind his back; and last, but not least, not realizing she was already full and throwing up that last gulp of beer on to the bar.
John Durante: Launching the boat into a big rock which resulted in prop damage.
Brian Berry: Letting his testosterone get the better of him during a friendly wrestling skirmish and slamming Sean to the lodge floor which triggered reports of a minor earthquake in Eagle River; misplacing his wallet, only to find it (after searching the entire resort) back in his own cabin; and for hanging Bean up-side-down behind his back... very foolhardy on Brian's part. Lord knows what Bean could have done while she was back there... "lift" a wallet perhaps????
Sean Ryan: Ditto on the testosterone issues with Brian; throwing a perfectly good shot glass into the garbage right in front of the bartender, Chelsea; and later that night, losing his way to the cabin bathroom and taking a header down the steps to the lower level (did Brian knock Sean's sense of direction right out of him... or was Sean just over-served?) What Sean did when he finally stood up will go unmentioned here but suffice it to say that his guardian angel, Julie (doesn't this woman ever sleep?), once again came to the rescue and washed up the mess (including her own feet).
Julie Hutter: If there was an award for grace, Julie would win hands-down. Not only was she able to squat and pee in the woods, despite the bear, but she was also able to roll around on the floor of Tom and Dave's boat suffering only minor road rash on her knees.
Rob Hutter: Ever the practical joker... Passionately kissing Dave in the bar; and making like a bear in the woods... scaring the pee out of his wife and her sister, Jeannine, on their walk down Jackson's Lane.
Jeannine Birschbach: Sprinting for safety and leaving her older sister behind as bear food... blood only goes so far.
Dave Treleven: Kissing Rob back!
Pat Laasch: Nailing Scott Fosbinder in the butt with a dart. Seeing that Scott wasn't even standing near the dartboard makes us wonder...
Patsy Schroeder: Hording the breadsticks at Scubi's... we're talking the entire basket! Later, falling asleep in the lodge bar after dinner... could it have been a carb overload crash??? Needing a cigarette (despite the patch she was wearing) to wake up!
And while not officially recognized during the voting on Friday night, we would be remiss if we did not recognize:
The Entire Group: For running off yet another bartender. Sadly, Chelsea only lasted a few days. Thankfully, Lumpy came to the rescue and we are so grateful.
This year, the S.H.I.T. recruited Kyle and Lauren Berry, Sam Fosbinder, and Nathan and Aidan Ryan, to help in identifying the award contenders. Nice touch by the S.H.I.T. and great job by the kids! After a flurry of voting, the winners were...
Sean Ryan took Mary home to Tinley Park, and the dice went back with Bean Durante. A clean sweep by the Flat Landers!
Congratulations new S.H.I.T, Sean Ryan and runner up Bean Durante!!