By Jolee Galloza <alayande@earthlink.net>
[reprinted with the permission of the author]

This communication has 2 parts. The first a brief introduction that segways in to the second part: "The Heart of the Matter".

"A Brief Intro"

It is disturbing at times to discover that what one presents isn’t always received as one thinks. I am a Latino TG, and have lived in NYC for most of my life. At other times I have lived in Puerto Rico. I have had the wonderful opportunity of having "mixed it up" with persons from all social economic, ethnic backgrounds and I have learned much about my culture in many ways. I have been a student of human behavior for all of my life, and I still am.

I was raised during the time of the sexual revolution and was brought up to feel that integrating ourselves on a personal level and on a social level was very important. I had to face my culture and look at where the hindrances are concerning how we relate to each other and, search out how problems concerning Machismo and Marianismo has played it self out, and to what extent I as a Latino have internalized them as well as other issues concerning class, race, at one point homophobia, and now Transphobia. I have come to resolve many of these issues painfully but fruitfully.

As a pre-op Hispanic Transman, I have accepted and integrated many aspects of myself that makes me a unique and wonderful human being. I have raised and continue to raise a beautiful Puerto Rican hetero-son (20yo), and when he asked me last year "so what do you feel about my development as a man", I answered that I was very proud of the fact that he has chosen to become (like his Trans-Daddy) a kind man.

have that "cattle-mentality", and that we have the ability to think and judge people and situations with some measure of flexibility, kindness and openness because no one’s perfect.

Like his Daddy, he can totally love and appreciate the beautiful feminine aspects in ourselves and revel in the magical creative force of femininity. So yes I told him I was proud of his evolvement so far.

With every step and every change that I have learned to understand within myself, I have shared all these things with him and he has shared these things with great respect with his peers, and so on. Here is where some integration into the fabric of our society is happening, with this next generation.

I was forced to learn to live in the challenge of opposites. To learn courage from fear and sometimes terror. To learn Love from hatred. To Love Peace from violence. To uphold the dignity of woman kind in the face of the injustices presented in our world, on a one on one basis. To learn kindness from stark-cold corruption.

"The Heart of the Matter"

On a social/personal level, there is much fear and Pre-judging that I am approached with from Latina Women or Latina Femmes at first glance. I think that the immediate expectation is that the issues that I will address here, "have not" been worked-out, and sadly, so many of us do fall through the cracks of prisons, addictions, alcoholism and other issues.

I am extremely fortunate to have been placed on the path of continual personal evolution (on spiritual, emotional, mental and social economic levels), and have been able to address some of these issues, so that I can try to create change both in my personal life and within all the communities that I walk through.

I feel I am in a minority in this way, or we are just not highly visible at least not in the communities I