Saturday, August 20, 2005

The Media's Latest Profundity Regarding Judge Roberts' Qualifications

He opposed a presidential commendation describing Michael Jackson as an "outstanding example" for American children.

Judge Roberts believed the proposed award for the "mono-gloved" entertainer, as Judge Roberts referred to him, was an unseemly attempt to purloin attention surrounding a figure in the public eye. He expressed similar concerns regarding proposed awards to other media stars.

Additionally, Judge Roberts remarked that "if one wants the youth of America and the world sashaying around in garish sequined costumes, hair dripping with pomade, body shot full of female hormones to prevent voice change, mono-gloved, well, then, I suppose 'Michael,' as he is affectionately known in the trade, is in fact a good example."

Fortunately, the Washington Post discovered this information in time for inclusion in the Senate Judiciary Committee members' hearing preparations.