The holiday weekend brought with it the annual East Kumquat Regional. For the first time the tournament committee combined their Knockout event with a Swiss qualifying session. This master stroke increased attendance from ten teams to 150.
Sydney would not have considered playing in a straight Knockout, but a Swiss team was, after all, his favorite event. He entered with Dr. Irving J. Sheepmeat as his partner. Their teammates were Mrs. Sheepmeat and Loretta Leadbottom.
The seeding committee must have known what it was doing, the best team in the field the first round. They had to play against the infamous Dragon Lady and her team of professional players.
The Dragon Lady was playing with the notorious Elephant against Sydney and the good doctor and not doing very well. Going into the last board they trailed by a few IMPs but would win the match if they made their shaky 3NT contract.
3NT by South Opening lead: ª 6 |
The Elephant played dummy's ª Q at trick one and Sydney produced the ª 9. The Elephant assumed he would find long Spades on his left and the Diamonds on his right. His best chance, therefore, was to attack Hearts. A quick glance in Sydney's direction located the ©A. It was sticking out of his hand like a sore thumb. Sydney’s attention sometimes wandered when declarer took a long time at trick one and this time his whole hand was turned toward declarer. His leftmost card. the ©A. was raised up and separated from the rest making it impossible for declarer to miss it.
It did not take the Elephant long to figure out how to play the hand with the Ace dub of Hearts on his right. He would lead a low Heart. Since Sydney would have no more Spaces he would claim ten tricks.
The Elephant confidently call for a low Heart. A little too confidently, because he startled Sydney, who dropped his © A on the floor. "I can see his card. His partner and see his card. "Director!" screamed the Dragon lady. The director appeared and ruled that this was clearly an exposed card and must be played, since it was a Heart to this trick.
The contract was doomed. After the match the Elephant was heard to say in a firm tone of voice, "When you are the dummy, you are the dummy. I am the only one allowed to call the director."
Editor’s Note: This story is dedicated to the memory of the late, great Ron Anderson, the Hideous Hog who was its inspiration.