| Why Write a Guide? |
I started writing this con-guide for a specific con. I did this because I was bored at work. However the con-chair politely asked me to make it "less scary". So I did. This is not the less scary version. This is my full-tilt, what you need to know and who to obey, guide for a first-time con attendee. It was written for Anime conventions, but I think it is universal. The con is not relevant, but let's call it the ShinyThings con 99. You like shiny-things, don't you? |
| Let's Begin |
ShinyThings can't solve all your problems, a therapist probably can't solve ALL your problems (but it's a good start), but we can give you advice on how to make your first con as painless as possible. This information is as much for you as it is for us. We have a capable Security and Medical staff. If you play your cards right you won't have to see them and they won't have to see you. Remember that blood makes the con grow, but you probably don't want the blood to be yours. Our Security Staff can tear phone books apart with one hand. We may be lying, but do you really want to find out for yourself? |
| How To Afford a Con |
A con shouldn't break you, financially. There are ways to make it througha con without withering your bank account into an impotent fossil of what it once was. We suggest that you bring some other beasts of burden to help share the expenses. ShinyThings highly endorses co-habitation. Yes, a room split one way is 72$ a night, two ways: X, X/2, and X/3 (you do the math). These friends can also car-pool and split food expenses Saving money on food: Bring general snacks, soda, and foods that do not need refrigeration. Hit grocery stores for items like PB+J, crackers, granola bars, trail mix, soda, and chips. You'll thank me later. Soda at hotels is always costly; food at the 7-11 is pricier than the super-market you hit before the convention. The more food you bring, the more cash is freed up for the dealer's room. And for god's sake save money for the ride home. The moment we catch you splitting a badge/membership you'll meet with our Security staff. You wouldn't like to meet with our Security staff. Blood makes the con grow. |
| What to Bring to a Con. |
Only YOU can prevent Con Whiff. Okay, you will be at a convention with your good buddies, so will upwards to 1,000 other attendees. You will all be indoors. Often many of you will be in the same, small, viewing and panel rooms. You will be able to smell everyone and they you. Make sure it's a smell they don't notice. The convention lasts three days. You room is equipt with a shower.Three days can provide a plethora of opportunities for cleaning rituals in the privacy of your own hotel room. If enough of you do not follow this logic the viewing rooms WILL smell like rotting corpses. I don't LIKE the smell of rotting corpses. We have a staff armed with Lysol. Lysol stings. Good hygiene equals happiness, for you and others. And boys? A woman is more apt to be impressed with your excessive knowledge of shiny things if you do not smell like a feces-pelted monkey. Trust me. Please Pack These Items (a list,duh): Personal Items: Look, I KNOW the hotel provides them, but if you're fitting multiple people in one room this will guarantee you your own towel. This is invaluable and takes up little space. Shampoo/ Conditioner: _____ Once again I KNOW they are provided, but rarely in the quantities needed. Toothbrush/Toothpaste: _____ DEODORANT!!!!!! _____ We can't stress this enough. Would you rather someone mention your stench at the con? I think not. Mouthwash: _____ Aftershave/Cologne/Perfume: _____ Go easy on it boys and girls, one finger-tip dot will do you. If you didn't use aftershave/ cologne/ perfume before the con, now is probably not a good time to start. Razor(s)/Shaving Cream: _____ Comb/Hairbrush: _____ There, that's pretty easy isn't it? The Dealers at ShinyThings provide a variety of shimering T-shirts, so it is never necessary to wear one shirt all weekend, for your further edification here are more items to pack: Clothing Needs:Shirts: (One for each day) _____ Pants: (same) _____ Underwear: (one for each day, plus an extra) _____ Socks: _____ Sweater: _____ Jacket: _____ Shoes: _____ Odds and Ends: Any Prescribed Medication you take regularly, or need in an emergency:______Make sure the people you are traveling with know about any medical needs of yours. Tylenol/Aspirin/etc: _____ ID card/Wallet/Checkbook/Credit Cards: ____ An Extra Pillow and Blanket (If you are sharing a room with MANY others):_____ A Phone Card: __________ Many people, one phone = billing confusion. Bring a phone card so you can tell your loved ones that you arrived. So You Costume?: You'll want to bring plenty of safety pins and a basic sewing kit:______If you are dying your hair at the con, bring Vaseline for your hairline, gloves for your hands, and a few ratty towels for the bathroom. hair dye stains EVERYTHING. The Author knows. The Author will personally beat your ass black and blue if you stain a room purple. Grimace should be purple; your floor should not. What Do You Do if You've Forgotten These Items? Then find a 7-11, Wal-Mart, CVS, Walgreen's, Kwik-trip, or whatever and BUY MORE! You do not go without your essentials, ever. |
| At The Hotel |
Get as many keys as people. Most hotels limit keys to 3 or 4 per room. If you have more people than keys, work out a system of how to share keys. Hotels always have a concierge service. Ask the folks at the front desk for information on restaurant locations, ATM's, near-by grocery stores, Kinko's, and much, much, more. They are there to help. Be polite, they are hotel staff, not convention staff. Oh yeah, and be polite to convention staff while you are at it |
| Taking Care Of Yourself At A Con |
There is a thing called con-plague. I've fallen victim to it and I've been ground zero. Con-plague is the term for any shared illness that strikes after a con. Why, may you ask, does this happen? Because people run themselves ragged at cons. They don't sleep, they don't eat well and they don't get enough water. This also makes them more susceptible to injury because reaction times and judgement are impaired. We mentioned that we'd rather you didn't have to see the Medical Staff. Most of these things are VERY preventable. The rule of thumb is "three meals, six glasses of water/juice, and six hours sleep". This isn't always possible, but it's a goal worth trying for. And for god's sake, eat some real food. Soda, coffee and alcohol do NOT count as appropriate beverages, they will dehydrate you. Chips and a carrot stick do not count as a meal. There is nothing more humiliating than blacking out due to dehydration or fainting because you haven't eaten. Well, other than what we do to you after you black out. |
| Respecting The Con |
Call home! Is this your first con? Are your parents apt to wonder if you made it there alive? Call them!!! You might wonder what this has to do with security. Security is who has to search out your pansy ass and embarrass you in front of all those fly honeys to tell you that we've received a panicked call from your folks wondering if you're alive. Our Security Staff teethed on steel re-bars. Smoking: Smoking is prohibited except where hotel policy permits. I personally enjoy rotting what is left of my tar-infested lungs with Djarum Cloves. Who doesn't like that first warm hack of the morning that tells them they're alive? But there is a time and a place. You can read the signs. OBEY. Our Security Staff eat their young. Age Limits: You may find that if you are under the age of 18 that there are some "naughty" shiny videos and artwork that is off limits to you at the con. We can't let you see them. Don't ask. If you need smut you can find it in the privacy of your own home. Let the Internet bring it to you! Our Security Staff kills more people before 6am than most people do all year. Photography: Cameras and camcorders are not allowed in the art show. Otherwise, photography is allowed when guests and attendees do not object and where it is not disruptive to other convention activities. And, on a personal note, I'm a female who costumes. Don't take ass shots of people without their permission! It's Creepy! And if you do, then don't be surprised when they tell you to fuck the fuck off. If you must, ask for a picture and suggest the classic "Pin-up Betty" pose, if they still say no, tough. Our Security Staff has pictures of your mother, don't push them. Alcohol, Drugs, Theft, and Vandalism: The legal drinking age is 21. Drugs, theft and vandalism are illegal and will be dealt with accordingly. We don't condone it. If you get your ass in trouble you probably brought it on yourself. But if you are going to do something illegal, don't be stupid. Don't entertain the staff, guests, hotel staff, locals, sheep, etc with your drunken antics. They aren't funny. Be cool. Our Security Staff was hardcore before hardcore was cool.
Weapons Policy: |
| General Note |
Conventions are fun, you are away from home, but please remember to behave in a civilized manner. The same rules you use on a day to day basis in regards to please, thank-you's, and refraining from loud obscene comments about other people apply at a con. We are not saying to you can't enjoy yourself or to disregard your own, special, individuality. We're just saying that the experience of attending the con is enhanced for everyone if folks use their common sense and etiquette. We are the guests of the hotel and bound by their rules as well. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Be courteous to hotel staff and fellow attendees but please remember the impression you make reflects on all of us. You got that you little punk? |