I just went to WizardWorld in Chicago. Wizard World is the second largest comic book con in America as far as I can tell (the largest convention is San Diego Comicon.). It was fucking weird.

I'm used to anime conventions. The very first thing I noticed was that there were considerably fewer females at WizardCon than most of the conventions I attend. I have no numbers on this, but I do I know that this year's Animerica survey revealed that they have an over 50% female readership. I doubt that any Wizard magazine has a readership that is over 50% female. Next I realized that there were almost no fan-built costumes. Anime conventions are known for their "cos-play" costume contests. It is not unusual at a large convention to see at least 70-100 costumes. I think I saw 7, most of which were anime costumes. I did however see a really sketchy looking Zatara. I didn't want to see it again.

What the con lacked in costumes and females they tended to over-compensate in professional booth-girls. Women who would put my occasional cheesecake displays to shame.

When the convention was over, and at points during it, I would comment on how nice it was not to be working staff, or worried about guests, or having to be aware of my language because I was a public figure. Then Mark Mandolia made the comment that:

Lady, you may not have worked staff, but if you think you can get out of being a public figure just because you don't carry a badge and don't slog through panels, you're sorely mistaken. Especially at a mostly-mainstream comic con. :-)

And he was right. I had become a public con-attendee at my first panel, the MacLauchlin hour. McLauchlin is the assistant editor of Wizard magazine, the panel consisted of him asking pointed (and silly) questions to four professionals: Mark Waid (who has written everything, The Flash, Kingdom Come, lots), Jeph Loeb (has recently written two wonderful series, Batman the Long Halloween and Superman a man for all seasons, and I'm not traditionally a superman or Batman story fan), Brian Pulido (writer, publisher CHAOS comics,) and Erik Larson (creator artist behind Savage Dragon, which I don't really care about).

Questions included: Would you rather write a mainstream X- (man) title or drive a nail through your hand? (Right answer, and most frequently given one: what kind of nail?), a survey on another writer's new hairstyle, if you could banish one member of the comic book industry to the phantom zone, who would it be? etceteras . Some of it was like watching tourette's hour when Erik Larson talked. And then they opened up questions to the audience.

A quick background on my question; I respect Mark Waid a great deal. He's a solid writer and has written a few of my favorite comic books. Over the last 4 years the DC Universe has become quite compact. The company and writers decided to get rid of all the 'multiple and parallel universes" to create a more comprehensive collection of characters. I could explain the events that made this possible but that would take a while. However this year Mark Waid, in conjunction with another writer, introduced the idea of "HyperTime" which would allow for parallel stories again and company crossovers. Hard-core fans threw temper tantrums about this, other fans didn't care.

But I don't think he was ready for the woman in black to ask, "This question probably isn't for everyone. Hypertime: legitimate method for exploring new stories or massive continuity COP-OUT?"

Waid: Well, look at the time…young lady I'll see YOU after class.

And then he proceeded to answer in the only way he could, that it could be either, it would depend on the writer and only time would tell. But after that he would occasionally see me in the audience during a panel and just point and say "you" in an acusary tone. It was fun.

Kevin Smith eats at the Cafeteria like everyone else. He's bigger in Person. I think he swears more than I do. He seemed like a nice guy, if he's not genuinely nice then at least he's fucking hilarious. Clerks will soon be an ABC animated show.

We saw a preview and one scene from his new flick, Dogma, it looked good.

We all stayed at the Hotel Sofitel, one of three hotels attached to the convention center. On Friday night we realized that we were staying in the Star Wars hotel. There is nothing odder than walking into the hotel lobby and seeing Anthony Daniels (C3-PO), Jeremy Bullock (Boba Fett) , Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) and others hanging out in the bar together.

We rode the elevator with Kenny (R2-D2) Baker and I didn't know WHERE to look.

Jay's (Drew's roommate in VA) quote of the weekend we'll never let him forget: For a little man, Kenny Baker's sure got a big ass.

I recognized the fear of being That Guy. NO one wants to be THAT GUY at a convention. At Anime conventions we'd describe this as not wanting to be a Fan Boy.

I rode the elevator with Frank Miller (Dark Knight Returns, Batman Year One, Sin City, Ronin…everything) a couple times. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to be That Guy.

Ray Parks, the body actor/martial artist who played Darth Maul was there, however a bone chip kept him from doing a martial arts demonstration. He did a few large Q&A panels. May I say that Mr.Parks is fucking adoooooowable? He's not tall, he's got incredible eyes, and has the sweetest lil cockney accent and uses phrases like "I didn't want to seem like I was licking up, you know." And yes, when a child asked him if he the light sabers were real he said yes. He didn't hang out much, but I'd imagine that he'd get pretty overwhelmed with people if he did.

He'll be doing action stuff for The Headless Horseman, which I would see anyway, but the idea of watching him with an axe and sword sounds cool.

Friday Night we chilled in the Hotel Sofitel bar, but now it's time to cruise and smoooze. We stop by a dealer's party (the MIB party) it's slow but the guys are nice. Then we hit the Hyatt Bar.

Pay Dirt!

Not only were some of my favorite artists and writers there, but we learn first hand that Claudia Christianson from Babylon 5 wears WHITE PANTIES.According to the MIB boys, Claudia has a history of finding the sorriest geek boy and getting him to pay for all her beer and pool. This con was NO exception. While the Bab5 actor I have come to refer to as "Resistance Empath Leader w/ Magical Fabio Hair" drank and played HIS game of pool, Claudia hugged every fan near her. She tipped back and forth, and due to the combination of her short skirt and pool technique we witnessed ass shots AND up-skirt shots. I saw her emerge from a quick trip to the lady's room and am sad to say she looked ROUGH. I guess there is no sequel to Hexed coming up in her future. Damned shame, I always liked her in Bab5.

Jay, Drew and I were joined at our table by a wonderful and jovial man named Robert Burnett. It turns out that Robert Burnett is a hardcore geek who has worked in the entertainment industry for a while (on such classics as Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3) and is now the writer and director of Free Enterprise.

Free Enterprise debuts August 6th in major cities and will (hopefully) tour smaller indy-film venues shortly after. The official plot blurb: In this romantic comedy, two Star Trek fans have their illusions shattered when they meet their idol William Shatner and learn he's hawking a musical version of "Julius Caesar" in which he will play all the parts.

Sounds fun, then Robert tells us the final musical is a rap. Shatner will rap.

We talk about CG, digital film, cons and listen to wacky Shatner stories.

Then Resistance Empath Leader w/ Magical Fabio Hair joins us. He's a little tipsy and wants to schmooze with Burnette, he wants a part in whatever he does next. He also asks me if I'm sure I wouldn't like another drink.

I start a dance floor where there is not one at the bar. We move tables and soon there is a nice small following of Goth and geeks. We have NO control over the music, it is piped in. I get a Goth to dance to These Boots Were Made For Walking. I also hypothesize that a wonderful interpretive Goth dance could be made from the stylization of the "Super Power" toy actions; I may pursue this idea further in my spare time.

Our dance party is watched intently by a table of artists and writers: Jeph Loeb, Jim Kruegger (writer of Earth X), Alex Ross (artist for Kingdom Come, Marvels, and everything else that is painted and cool, he's fucking amazing) and Rob Liefeld (easily the most maligned man in comics, most of it deserved from what I can tell, but I don't pay much attention to things he does). I don't recognize Kruegger until later.

Between my dancing sprees I have the opportunity to talk to Joe Kelly (writer for Deadpool). I make him blush when I tell him how much I enjoy his work. Hell this man wrote a pivotal scene where Deadpool roshambos Captain America. He seems like a nice, semi-hip guy. He's also cute.

I was prepared for the chubby balding white men comic-book writers. I was not prepared for the attractive American and Brit boys.

When last call comes around I take advantage of my audience to complement the folks at the table. Liefeld starts by telling me I'm a sexy dancer. This makes me feel unclean. I complement Ross, Loeb (who complements me) and Krugger. I then get to Liefeld.

Some of my favorite writers are old and think I'm attractive, and that sort of creeps me out.

Jay, Drew, and I go back to the MIB dealer's party, which is now hopping. Jay spends the next three hours drinking and talking with Kevin Nash (a large professional wrestle nicknamed Da Big Sexy). He was just there, at the party, hanging out and having a beer. About this time I realized I needed sleep. And got it.

Like every day of the con, I see people from Toy Fare and realize I can identify them by sight. I don't bother them because then I'd feel like a HUGE dork. "Uh, you write about toys…. Uh."

After listening to Mark Waid speak about writing for comics and writing in general I get to talk to him for a little while. He recognizes me, so that helps. I tells him about the time I spent adapting roughly translated comics (trust me, a Kuni translation is like being given a rough summary for each sentence instead of an actual sentence) and how when I read a few of Mark's Comic (or was given them to read) it had helped me under stand the pacing and style I was looking for, it gave me direction. We have a nice little talk and he asks me a little a bit about how WizardCon differs from the cons I'm used to. He's noticed that I seem to be everywhere. It's a positive experience.

I haven't mentioned everything at the con. I've learned that Anthony Daniels can babble on at his panels, but that it is the reason to attend them. He's wonderfully animated and can do impersonations of Sir Alex Guinness and Lucas.

I leave the con with a 12-inch Harley Quinn and a Deadpool Action Figure.The Deadpool I get signed by Joe Kelly who I find in the lobby when I'm leaving. He blushes again. I have many photos of artists and writers. I have a smattering of autographs (hampered by the fact I didn't bring ANY of my fucking collection). But I had fun, and that made it all worth it.

Oh yeah, and I learned that everyone who has ever written an X-man title is bitter beyond words.