My boyfriend and I have known each other for over a year, and we've been together as a couple for four months. Everything was great, until this week. Monday, I got an email signed with the usual "I love you and I miss you." Tuesday, it was "Love and miss you." Wednesday, nothing. Thursday, I didn't even get email! I called him last night, and asked him what was wrong, and he said we'd talk about it on Sunday, when he comes to visit (he lives in Ohio, I'm in Pennsylvania). He won't tell me what it is, so basically, he's going to have everything that he wants to say all figured out, and I'm going to be caught totally off gaurd. I have a bad feeling that this has something to do with his ex-girlfriend, since he's mentioned her a little more often than necessary. He dumped her last January, and it was because she sheated on him for one of the two and a half years that they were together. If he's planning on going back with her, he's crazy! So, Joe, what do you have to say about this?
There's a saying that goes something like "If you can't love the one you
want, love the one you're with".
I personally think this is a crock of shit, but some bonehead morons seem
to live by it.
Actually, I don't think that has anything to do with your problem, but I'm too lazy to reach over for the mouse to select all of it and erase it, even though explaining this fact just took far more energy than actually doing that would've.
So basically, what it comes down to is that you are figuring he's going to dump you when he visits on Sunday. He'll be prepared for it, and you'll have to rely on your wits to make it through.
Are you sure he's going to dump you? What if he's really nervous about telling (or asking) you something else? Then again, he probably wouldn't be making ex-girlfriend references if this were the case.
Forget I said that.
You must assume the worst.
So the goal is to not be caught off guard when he dumps you. Since you do not appear to be as skilled a mind reader as I am, finding out what he's going to say before he says it is probably out of the question. What you need to do is convince yourself that you are going to dump him. Rehearse what you are going to say (Hint: "I think we should just be friends" seems to be a popular one, and it's guaranteed to catch him off guard), and convince yourself that it's in your best interest. Hell, if you're worried that he's going to dump you, it probably is in your best interest to blow off* the looser.
That way, on Sunday when he says to you "I think we need to talk... About us.", you can take that as a sign that he's going to dump you, so should then go into your "just be friends" line, completely and totally annihilating him before he can get a word in edgewise. You will have the element of surprise, and thus the upper hand in the situation.
Of course, if he then pulls some sort of gift out of his pocket, like a ring perhaps, and says something like "I was going to give you this, [ex-girlfriend's name here] helped me pick it out, but now you're never going to see it again!" and takes off, and you go on for the rest of your life, lonely and bitter, silently thinking to yourself "I should have never listened to Joe!" until one day you crack and blow up a busload of third graders with a rocket propelled grenade, don't blame me, I have a disclaimer.
Good Luck, Stay Warm.
*Note: In most parts of the U.S. "To blow off" means "To disregard, to
ignore, to disrespect", for other readers "To blow off" means "to give
oral sex to".
I am using the U.S. meaning of the phrase in this instance.
However, "to blow up" means "to cause to explode violently" just about everywhere.
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