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Thank you,
-Joe
From Problems in Switzerland:
I have been dating my 19 year old boyfriend for the past year and we get along
really well most of the time. I am 24, Irish and I usually date older guys but
I was instantly attracted to my boyfriend and wanted to go out with him.
Anyway, from the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend I find has been trying to annoy me and make me jealous by some of his silly comments. When my family were over on holidays we went out for dinner with one of my friends and in front of my family and friend, he said that he adored my friend. Another time he chatted up a barmaid in a bar in front of me and he told her she was really pretty. Another time a lady walked by and he said that he would love to eat her up straight away. There have been a few other occassions when this has happened. I know though for a fact that he has never been unfaithful to me, because he is always with me. However, if I so as much speak to someone he gets really jealous and told me that he did not want me going out during the week without him as he was afraid that I might go off with someone else. Once, when a guy chatted me up he threatened to beat him up. In short, he is a jealous guy and did not like that I had male friends. I always gave out to him when he tried to chat up other women and in the last few months he has stopped that. Also at the beginning of our relationship he tried to change some things about me - to stop drinking so much (which is o.k., I did drink a small bit too much), to try to loose weight (I was only overweight by 10 lbs., now I've lost all the weight), and to change my dress sense. I am a fairly attractive girl and feel that I really do not need to change much about myself. Past boyfriends were very content with my personality and presentation. Maybe I was foolish but I changed my dress sense and lost all the weight just to please him. I have never been walked over by anyone in my life before but I love this guy so much that I gave into everything he asked. Recently, I found out from his mother that he lies about things, he lied to me about his age for 9 months - he told me that he was the same age as me. Also he told me that he was Brazilian when he is really Portugese. Portugese have a bad name in Switzerland and are quite often sleazy. I found out that he has had a really unstable background, his mother and father divorced when he was 1 and he hasn't seen his father in 10 years and his mother met another man and left him with his grandparents in Portugal for five years while she was in Switzerland with her new man.
He told me that his mother and her partner have a child and that he lives with the grandparents, I found out from his mother that this is not true - that he is her only son. I find the whole thing really strange and would like to ask your opinion on him. He also liked to annoy me by saying that he liked blondes, I'm a brunette. That little things about me bugged him, banging his car door too loudly, laughing too loudly and that I was the jealous one and that he couldn't live with my faults. The above listed things I do not class as problems and I know I am definately not jealous. We split up a week ago (he broke it off because of the above "problems" as he calls them), and since then I have been thinking it was him that is the one with the problems not me. Do you think he is just a bastard, has psychological problems or is just very immature. Do you think that he has no respect for women?
Thank you.
To answer your query:
Yes, he is immature, and needs to grow up.
He is also a bastard.
Probably psycho, too.
And definitely has very little to no respect for women.
Net result: You're better off without him. I think you already
know that. It's going to take years for him to mature, and he may
never get over his bastardness, psychoticness, or gain respect for women.
Good riddance, I say. I understand that you love him, but that will fade in time, and you'll be able to have fun and meet new people, and forget about him. Eventually you'll realize that you were just interested in a cute piece of ass, and not truly in love.
And it will be that exact moment when he will, as if by magic, suddenly reappear into your life. Don't give into ass, that leads to the dark side. Well, techincally, "where the sun don't shine side", which is like the dark side, but slightly more stinky.
Joe
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