Joe's AMAZING Relationship Problem Solver Advice!
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From someone who isn't a lawnmower:
I am dating two men - one is handsome, has a lot of money and also is
pretty controlling - he told me if I didn't call him at 6:30 pm on
Saturday night he was going to come over and make me eat grass. I think
this was a joke but I went ahead and called him just in case. I know
this shouldn't be a factor but he uh, drives a Jaguar.
I am also dating a "real nice guy" who is not rich and never will be. He is handsome, funny, intelligent and treats me well. My problem, and many of my friends do not think I have a problem, is I truly do like them about equally, but am exhausted and they are both telling me to choose one or the other.
Any advice.
Eat grass?!?! Why on earth would he say that? Better yet, where the hell did he come up with that? That's freakin' psycho! Threatening that you're going to force someone to eat grass is like leaving a box full of hair on someone's doorstep. At first it just seems really fucking weird, then you realize how damn psycho it really is. That guy is a nutcase! Whew!
And I mean, come on, a Jag? What good are twelve cylynders if you can't keep the engine running from one side of a parking lot to the other? I mean, if you're going to fall for a British car, at least make it an Aston-Martin. Sheesh.
Does the car thing really work? I mean, would you be putting up with this guy if he drove, say, a Toyota? A Saturn? A Ford? Anyone who cares to comment on this topic, please speak up and mail me. I'm serious, I'm quite interested in finding out people's views on how much a person's car affects their attractiveness. And please be honest, all responses will be kept strictly confidential. I'll put the results up on the site if anyone else is as interested in this as I am.
The easy way out of your situation is to not choose either. Just dump 'em both and find someone who's more handsome, has more money, and drives a better car than either of your current batch.
Joe
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