Nasties and Bugs
Well, Julie, you may think that, but we here at the Institute for the Investigation of Paranormal Activity in Computing Machinery and Personal Relationships (IIPACMPR) have binder after binder of scientific evidence that indicates that we are correct. No effort was spared in our research, no stone left unturned. Every last bit of data was collected according to strict scientific method to assure the validity and reliability of the information. Our investigative team interviewed thousands of volunteer test subjects, read over 18 billion pages of printed material on the subject, and watched approximately one hundred and fifty million hours of Rikki Lake. Our crack team of scientists dissected a large number of people, both "in love" and "out of love" and were unable to find ANY signs of what you call "True Love." Our field research teams put their lives on the line, actually going out into the real world and trying to get dates. The latest in scientific equipment was used to quantize every last bit of information. Powerful supercomputers sifted through the data to...
Is anybody buying this?
Okay, I'll admit it, I drew the damn thing up one day in Philosophy 104. The extent of my research was showing the sheet to the ROTC guy sitting next to me. He laughed. I decided to put it on the web. End of story.
This made me HDHOL (har-de-har-out-loud)!
Kathy
Well, Kathy
You need some serious therapy. To find humor in the PAIN and
AGONY of others is pure EVIL. Your sadistic glee makes me wish
I wasn't born human (well, actually, I wasn't, but that's a whole
other story). My stomach cringes at the demonic laughter from
your soulless gut. Your dastardly violent act against humanity
cannot go unpunished. And that acronym! What is this, freakin' USENET?
"HDHOL"? Shouldn't it be HDHHOL? (for har-dee-har-har-out-loud?)
Whatever the hell it is, it's pretty goddamn stupid! Man, this sucks!
"Does your stomach get queasy when you see this person after an (not and) extended separation (not seperation)."
"Unfortunately (not unfortuneatly) most long distance relationships fail within six months. Fortunately (not fortuneatly)..."
"If you factor out all the people (omit you) who are..."
All the mushy gushy lovin' from the oven I have not foresworn to Harrison Ford,
Kathy
Well, Kathy
We already know what kind of horrible person you are. and now we see
your true hideous face, one of a NIT PICKING ENGLISH NERD!!!
BEGONE YOU EVIL SATANIC PUSS SPEWING RAT GRISTLE CHEWING OPRAH WATCHING
LOUISA MAY ALCOTT QUOTING I TALKED TO HARRISON FORD AND HE'S GOT A
BIG PICTURE OF YOU THAT SEZ "IF YOU SEE THIS PERSON--RUN LIKE HELL!"
ON HIS WALL JUST IN CASE HE FORGETS YOUR HORRIBLE MUG BABY STEALING
DINGO PERSON!
Not that any of that stuff is really all that bad, of course.
I've been known chew a little rat gristle here and there.
You must be single yourself.
You don't have any answers. All you say is "dump um and go fishing" how dumb. I think you need to add more suggestions to your survey. Do you have anybody in mind who can really help solve relationship problems?
There are plenty of fish in the sea? I think that you have been in the sea yourself for too long. No one seems to be throwing you a line, eh?
Hasta!
Now, there is a point when you can take a metaphor just a little too far. You, my dear, have crossed that line. I'll bet you're in cahoots with that devilish Kathy person, aren't you? All you negative energy people, your puny attacks are meaningless to me. I rise above your petty little problems. Soon I shall rule the EARTH!
Nobody can help you with your relationship problems, you should prolly become a hermit.
well...i think that it is very interesting but it doesn't quite work....oh well never mind good luck on your nextone :) hehehehe
Hey Buddy, FUCK my CAT.
Special thanks to Shoddy for that saying, it has served me well in these long years.