Ann & Neal looking to adopt. More of our thoughts on adoption.

image: floral bouquet

Title: More of our thoughts on adoption

What open adoption means to us...

Open adoption refers to a willingness for communication on the part of both birthparents and adoptive parents for the benefit of all.

To us, openness means, among other things, that:

You, (and of course your partner if involved), freely chooses the adoptive family for their child. In addition to this web album we also have an on-paper family album that we would be happy to give you to look at. And we invite you to talk to our adoption agency and/or to our adoption attorney about us as well.

Everyone spends time getting to know each other before the adoption. This can be as little or as much as you like, in the way you feel most comfortable - emails/letters, phone calls, and even getting together. Our hope is that when the adoption day arrives you will not feel as though we are strangers, but instead friends. And we want to get to know you too so that we can tell your child about you and your love as he/she grows up.

We invite you to know how your child is doing over the years through letters, pictures, phone calls, and/or visits, depending on your comfort level. We will never turn away from you and we will never hide your presence from your child. We want your child to know first hand that he/she is loved by you and us.

What we believe adoption is not...

Adoption is not abandoning a child. Rather adoption is the making of a life plan for a child.

Adoption is not shirking responsibility. Rather adoption is taking the responsibility to put a child's needs ahead of one's own.

Adoption is not trading a child for an easier, more comfortable life in the future. Rather adoption is about taking care of what a child needs now.

Adoption is not proof that a woman is a bad mother and does not care about her child. Rather adoption takes the strength of a mother's courage to trust a couple to love her child as much as she does.

Adoptive parents do not love their adopted children any less than parents who give birth to their children. In fact, most adoptive parents think that they appreciate their adopted children a little more than most.

Once a woman becomes a mother she will love her child for life - whether she parents the child herself or she chooses another couple to parent for her. Adoption is never a question of not loving!