Alexander John Shave, R.I.P.

On January 25th, 2002, Dear Alex Moved on Forever
"He Went His Own Way"
I miss him so very, very much...
You may click eMail Don to share your thoughts

Alex's funeral was Friday, February 1st, 2002 with many, many friends & family at the viewing and joining the service to help and support us.

Please click Amber, Carrie, Angie & Glen (3.5MB.mp3) * to hear the personal messages shared by Alex's friends at the funeral. Click Dad's Farewell (2.5MB.mp3) * to listen to my message as well; you can also download & read my Farewell Message and the complete versions of the poetic threads woven in & out.

I asked that everyone "remember Alex in their minds" by saving their funeral memorial cards...

Mary Frye's poem is on the reverse... Do Not Stand by my Grave and Weep.
I am not There, I do not Sleep.

I am a Thousand Winds that Blow,
I am a Diamond Glint on the Snow.
I am the Sunlight on Ripened Grain,
I am the Gentle Autumn Rain.

When you Awaken in the Morning's Hush,
I am the Swift Uplifting Rush
of Quiet Birds in Circled Flight.
I am the Soft Stars that Shine at Night.

Do Not Stand by my Grave and Cry.
I am not There, I did not Die.

We chose this because it captures Alex’s free spirit. We think that Alex would want you to remember him this way, and not be sad as he went his own way.

Alex's final destination is shared by his mother & I with memorials at LaBelle Cemetary in Oconomowoc, WI, and (spiritually) at Ship Rock , New Mexico, a place known as " The Rock with Wings " to the Navajo People, " Tsé Bit'a'i' "

May His Spirit
Rest In Peace
For Ever

Some Thoughts of Alex

This is the Alex that we all knew, looking really, really good in '97...

"When this you see, remember me
and keep me in your mind.
Let others say just what they may,
Speak of me as you find."

Another Memorial for Alex from me is the haunting song that played, Tangerine(1.3MB.mp3)*
Here are the lyrics, also

I captured these thoughts the weekend that Alex died...

"These are the saddest and longest days of my life. Memories abound. Alex's childhood in & around Oconomowoc was filled with friends and places to play, to learn about life. We lived in Sterling Park, VA when Alex was a baby and in Germantown, MD until Alex was almost 5. We enjoyed many family trips and vacations every year, away to the beach, off to the zoo, camping, fishing, time in woodsy cabins, even off to Europe for a few weeks. Wonderful years together in our family. Alex's teenage years became filled with many complicated issues as he worked to go his own way. We all helped him to get through every single one, until he met his final challenge last week. We were just not able to reach him at the end."

Some of my recollections of Alex's far, far too short time with us are captured visually here
More details of some events in Alex's life (my view) are here, too: Alex's Life In A Breath

Here are some pictures of the younger Alex...

some memories of our Arizona'98 trip...

And, finally, a recent snap of Alex at White Oak in '98

As I meandered through the maze of my sadness, searching for thoughts, threads,
answers, anything, I encountered this message about suicide.
It can be pretty tough reading, but find the time. Perhaps twice...

Also spend a minute or two with Tony Salvatore's Memo to Suicidal Young People

I may share more things here as time goes by. Please come back to visit Alex as you can

You are also welcome to visit my family pages. Don

Having difficulty accessing the MP3 files? If you're inside GE's firewall, you may download the audio files from Don's temporary QP site. Use <Backspace> or your browser's Back function to return here

Here is Alex's obituary from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel as well as the funeral information, should you need it:

1st Congregational United Church of Christ, 815 S. Concord Rd, Oconomowoc
Click here for Directions to the church or Telephone (262) 567-4461
Funeral arrangements by Schmidt and Bartelt, (262) 567-4459

In lieu of flowers, please send memorials to any drug rehabilitation group,
the Suicide Hotline support group Suicide Support
or to the American Brain Tumor Association ABTA

Updated Oct/02